


The Sun is Rising

by cured_by_death



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Maze, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beaches, Bisexual Thomas!, Drunken Kissing, F/M, Fluff, Gay Newt!, Heartbreak, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Newt (Maze Runner) Has a Crush, Or Is It?, Smut, THATS A TAG OMGGG, Unrequited Love, but not as oblivious as tommy!, i decided to be brave and write the smut, lots of drunken kissing, oblivious newt!, oblivious thomas!, okay not a lot but it happens more than once, smut?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-05-06 06:26:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14635968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cured_by_death/pseuds/cured_by_death
Summary: Newt is depressed  after his fiance cheated on him. Thomas has just suffered through a break up. Minho decides the gang needs a vacation. A week on the beach with their closest friends seems like the answer to their problems.But it turns out to bring a new problem. Thomas realizes why he never felt happy in any of his relationships before and why they never worked out.He has feelings for Newt.(i suck at summaries, newtmas beach fluff and angst okay? give it a chance)Main story ended with chapter 7. Now taking one-shot requests!





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first (solo) newtmas fic. im so nervous omgggggg  
> i thought of this one night while watching the death cure and im like, damn, newt never got to see the ocean with all his loved ones. ima fix that.  
> and guys please let me know if smut is okay or not cause there's potential smut but idk if thats what you want  
> also i decided that with each chapter, im going to recomend a newtmas fic for you guys to read! check the end notes for it! :)

“Welcome to paradise!” Minho exclaims.

Thomas found himself in the Bahamas with his friends for a week, standing in front of the large beautiful beach house Minho had rented for everyone. With all the crap going on in their lives, a week away from reality would do the group some good.

Thomas had just recently went through a break up with Brenda, a girl he met his freshman year in college. He knew it was coming, so he wasn’t as heartbroken as a normal person would be. They haven’t been the same couple they were when they first started dating. She was too busy with work, which being a nurse at the hospital, Thomas could understand. But she had stopped trying to make an effort to spend time with him. They slowly fell apart, and one night, they got into a heated argument, and decided that they needed a break from each other. That was three weeks ago, and they haven’t spoken since. Thomas knew it was over.

Newt, one of Thomas’s best and oldest friends, was in the same boat. Actually, Newt was in a boat that had sunk farther than Thomas’s. Newt met his fiance’, Gally, when they were in junior year college, and they rushed into their relationship and got engaged after only a year of dating. A little over a month ago, Newt found out he was having an affair with Newt’s old classmate, Ben. Newt was devastated and heartbroken. That’s why Minho planned this trip. Newt wouldn’t go to work, wouldn’t leave his home, barely got out of bed and wasn’t eating. This trip would be good for Newt.

Thomas, not wanting to take away from everyone cheering up Newt, only told Teresa about his breakup. Everyone needed to be there for the blonde, and Thomas just wanted to see his friend happy again.

He remembers how when they were all in highschool, he, Newt, Minho, Teresa, Harriet, and Sonya, Newt’s twin sister, would always be hanging out with one another, practically every minute of every day. When they got into college, they had to go their separate ways. Thomas was fortunate enough to be attending the same school as Teresa, while everyone else had dormed somewhere far away.

Without meaning to, they didn’t stay in touch as much. Daily phone calls turned to weekly phone calls. Late night texts before bed had stopped, and the group seriously missed one another. Even if they weren’t together as much, and made new friends at school, their bond could never be broken. He supposes that it was all part of growing up.

None of that mattered now. Here they were, all six of them, staying at the same house on the beach for a week. Yeah, this would be good for all of them.

“Unfortunately, there are only three bedrooms, so everyone has to double up with someone,” Minho said.

“Sonya and I can share a room,” Harriet said.

“And I can bunk with Tom,” Teresa said.

“Perfect, but since this was my idea,” Minho grinned, “me and Newt get the master suite.”

“Romantic,” Newt said in a low sarcastic voice.

The plan was for everyone to quickly get settled in their rooms and met back downstairs in the large living room. It was already almost four, since their flight was delayed for an hour, so they wanted to head onto the beach for a few hours.

Thomas and Teresa found their room, and started to unpack a little bit, so they didn’t have to do much later.

“How you holding up?” she asked once they were alone.

“I’m fine,” Thomas admitted. “This week is for Newt, I don’t want to think about Brenda right now. I’m just happy people aren’t asking about her.”

Thomas had told them she hadn’t been able to get someone to cover for her, and they believed it. He didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t feel like telling everyone.

“We’re here for you too, Tom,” Teresa said, putting a hand on his arm.

Yeah, he knew that, but Newt was hurting more than Thomas, even if he didn’t show it. Thomas was enduring a breakup, but Newt’s fiancé cheated on him. With his friend. That was much more serious.

“I know, but we can deal with that after we get back. Let’s just forget about reality and enjoy our lives a bit, huh?”

* * *

 

Minho had unpacked faster than Newt, and rushed to get downstairs to meet back up with everyone. Once Newt had finished putting some things away in the bathroom, he was met with Sonya sitting on the bed. “Everything okay?” he asked,

“Just wanted to talk to you really quick.”

“Please, don’t. I’m not in the mood to talk about it.”

He really wasn’t. Sonya kept trying to talk to him, and he wouldn’t let her. He just wanted to forget about it and move on. But, he couldn’t. That’s all he thought about every single second of every single day. His fiancé, who he planned on spending the rest of his life with, lied and cheated on him and crushed his heart into a million pieces. The only reason he agreed to going on this trip was the hope that his friends would distract him.

“I know, but…” Sonya’s voice trailed off, but her eyes darted to Newt’s hand, and he knew what she was staring at. His engagement ring.

He hadn’t been able to take it off yet, and he wasn’t sure if he was able to. Taking it off confirmed that his relationship was over, and he didn’t know if he could do that yet.

Newt raised his hand to look at it, and sighed, moving to plop down on the bed beside his sister. “I’m bloody pathetic, aren’t I?”

“No,” she said softly, moving to hold her brother’s hand. “You’re just afraid to let go, but that’s what this week will be about. You’re gonna see that life goes on, and that you can get through this. You’ll be okay.”

Sonya gave him a quick hug, and pulled him off the bed, dragging downstairs to meet the others.

* * *

 

“Shhh! He’s gonna wake up!”

“Relax, Minho could sleep through a warzone.”

After hanging around the beach for a couple of hours, swimming in the ocean, playing frisbee and volleyball, they all went to lay in the sun. When Minho fell asleep, Teresa came up with the idea of burying him in the sand. Now, the asian boy’s body was completely covered with the exception of his head.

“He’s gonna be buggin’ pissed when he wakes up,” Newt said chuckling.

“Wait, I got the perfect idea!” Thomas exclaimed.

A few minutes later, his work was done, and the group couldn’t help but laugh. Finally, Minho woke up, realizing he was unable to move. “What are you guys -”

He stopped talking when he looked down and saw that they had buried him in the sand, but that’s not what he was staring at. His eyes were locked on the pair of breasts that Thomas had made for him. Minho wanted to scream at them, but couldn’t help but smile and laugh at his friends’ stupidity.

“I hate you shanks,” Minho said between laughs.

* * *

 

“So I know you don’t want to talk about it…” Thomas said as the group was walking back to the house, hoping he wouldn't upset Newt. “But how are you doing?”

Newt stopped and sighed, looking over at Thomas. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Tommy. I’m hurting. But I really rather not talk about it. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Thomas replied, starting to walk again. “Just know that when you want to talk, I’ll be here. Always.”

Newt smiled at his friends words. “I know. You always are.”

It was true. Ever since they first met when Newt and Sonya came to America, they were stuck to each other like glue. Usually, whenever either of them had a problem, they would go to each other first. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to talk to their other friends, it was just instinct. For some reason, they _had_ to talk to each other before anyone else. And they always helped each other through everything. Newt was glad Thomas was here. The littlest things he did could turn Newt’s frown into a smile. And he made Thomas a promise a long time ago that he wouldn’t hide his pain from him anymore. Not after the last time.

* * *

 

When it got dark, they decided they wanted to start a fire on the beach. Teresa and Sonya were roasting marshmallows while Minho was on his fifth beer. Harriet and Newt laughed as he tripped over one of the logs that surrounded the campfire. Thomas just smiled as he watched his friends enjoy the night.

Around midnight, slowly one by one everyone called it a night. Teresa was the first, and Minho went with her, as she offered to escort him to bed. Sonya was the next to declare she was going to turn in. She pecked Newt’s cheek goodbye and left. Eventually, Harriet excused herself as well.

Now it was just Thomas and Newt, sitting in the sand with their backs pressed against one of the logs, staring out at the ocean.

“I love the ocean,” Newt said out of the blue, making Thomas stare at his friend. “The sound of the waves is just so calming. I could listen to it forever,” Newt said, a tear falling from his eye. When did he start crying? “That’s why I came. I’ve always felt comfortable and at peace when I’m near the ocean like this.”

Thomas put his arm around Newt to comfort him and said “It’ll be okay Newt.”

“When?” Newt croaks out, playing with his ring on his finger. “All I see is dark, like I’m stuck wandering alone in the night, and I keep waiting for some sort of light. I’m waiting for a sunrise that just isn’t coming.” As long as he has known him, Newt was the strong one, even if he was hurting. He had never let anyone see him so weak, but the alcohol must be having an effect on him. Newt never openly cried in front of  people. He usually kept everything bottled up, which lead to his...incident. Ever since then, Thomas made sure Newt opened up to him.

“It’s gonna suck for a while,” Thomas admitted. He knew what Newt was feeling, he understood that empty, hollow pain in his chest. “But one day, it’s gonna suck a little less, and then one day, you won’t even realize it, but the pain will be completely gone. It’s just gonna take some time. And we’ll all be here for you during this time.”

Newt managed a small smile, and leaned his head on to Thomas’s shoulder, reaching his arm around Thomas to hold him. “Thanks, Tommy.”

“Might make you feel better if you threw the ring into the ocean.”

Newt sighed. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.” Thomas hummed as a response.

They continued to talk to each other about anything and everything. They talked about work, making fun of Minho, reminiscing about high school. It didn’t matter what they talked about though. Just sitting there, with his best friend, by the ocean, was all Newt needed to feel better.

About an hour or so later, the duo decided it was best to turn in. Thomas pulled out his phone and noticed it was a little after one, and that Teresa had texted him.

**_Teresa:_ **

**_Couldn’t get Minho to his room, he passed out in ours. Crash with Newt for the night._ **

**_Sorry <3_ **

Of course Minho would pass out. He partied the most out of everyone, and he was always the first one to blackout somewhere. But Thomas didn’t want to bother Newt, so he’ll just sleep on the couch.

Once back inside the house, Newt said goodnight to Thomas but stopped when he saw him going to the couch. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, uh...Minho passed out in my room so I’m taking the couch.”

“You do realize that you can bunk with me right?”

“I don’t want to be a bother,” Thomas admitted.

“Trust me, you’re definitely a better bunk mate than Minho. Come on,” Newt said, gesturing for Thomas to follow.

Reluctantly, Thomas followed the Brit upstairs and they soon found themselves falling asleep. Well, Thomas thought so, until he heard sniffling coming from behind him. He rolled himself over and sat up, looking over at Newt, who had been silently crying. “Newt? You okay?”

“Yeah, ‘m fine Tommy. Go to sleep.”

Thomas knew Newt well enough not to push the issue. So he did the only thing he thought of to comfort his friend. He laid back down, and pulled Newt closer to him. At first, Newt tensed at the new contact, but quickly relaxed into Thomas’s embrace. He even grabbed one of Thomas’s hands and squeezed it as a silent ‘thank you’.

Within minutes, both of them fell into a deep peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first fic i recommend is 'star-crossed by khaleesivero! it's really good so check it out!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/7430969/chapters/16878085


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here's chapter 2! hope you enjoy it! the rest of these chapters start with a flashback, thought it'd be nice to shed some light on their past.  
> also thank you all for the comments and kudos, you have no idea how much they mean to me!

_“I don’t want this night to end,” Thomas admitted._

_“Don’t be such a bloody sap, we see each other everyday.”_

_The gang had gone to the beach for the weekend during their spring break. They couldn’t afford to pay for a whole week away, being that they were still in highschool and their jobs paid minimum wage, so they took what they could get. Both mornings were spent on the beach, and at night they explored the boardwalk. It was fun. They were all having so much fun, until Thomas, the overthinker of the group, had to bring everyone’s mood down. “But pretty soon we won’t be seeing each other every day.”_

_“Shut up shank and enjoy the time we have now!” Minho yelled, taking his attention away from his cotton candy long enough to slap Thomas’s arm and Harriet to steal some from him._

_“Yeah lighten up Tom,” Teresa said, coming over to hug her long time friend. “Let’s make this the best night ever!”_

_They played some arcade games, went on the Tower of Doom, the merry-go-round, and now they were going on the ferris wheel. They all had to pair up since only two could fit in the seats. Minho went with Teresa, Harriet went with Sonya, which left Thomas to go with Newt._

_“We don’t have to go on if you’re uncomfortable Newt,” Thomas said before they were about to get on, knowing that Newt sometimes had trouble with heights since his...incident._

_Newt rolled his eyes, but when they landed on Thomas, he smiled. “I’m okay, Tommy. It was a long time ago, I’m perfectly fine.”_

_So they got on - not without Thomas checking that Newt’s leg was fine - and took in the breathtaking view. The way the moonlight was shining on the ocean, how the lights of the boardwalk illuminated in the darkness. It was beautiful. “Gorgeous isn’t it?”_

_“Yeah,” Newt replied softly, resting his head on Thomas’s shoulder. “I know we yelled at you earlier for being a sap, but just because we won’t see each other all the time doesn’t mean we aren’t friends anymore. We will always be in each other’s lives Tommy. I promise.”_

_Thomas rested his head on top of Newt’s, and reached for his hand and squeezed it, Newt reciprocating the action._

_“Me too."_

* * *

 

_Bacon._

That’s the first thing Thomas registers when he awakens. That, and the blinding sunlight that is coming through the window. But the window was supposed to be on Teresa’s side of the bed.

_Oh._

He was in Newt’s room. He opened his eyes to see the blonde still sound asleep, his bedhead a perfect sight. Somehow during the night, Newt managed to turn around and bury his face in Thomas’s chest. Thomas thought it was cute, like he was a little puppy.

Feeling his stomach rumble, he slowly unrolled from Newt, quietly stepped out of bed, closed the curtain so Newt wouldn’t wake to the same blinding light, and left the bedroom in the hunt for breakfast. To his delight, he found Sonya and Harriet cooking in the kitchen. “Mornin,” Thomas mumbled.

“Hey, Thomas!” Harriet greeted. “How’s Minho doing?”

“I don’t know actually, I slept with Newt last night.”

“You _what_?!” Sonya shrieked, turning around from the omelette she was making.

Thomas didn’t know why the girl was so shocked that he had been in Newt’s room instead of Minho’s. Then it hit him.

“Oh, not like that! Jeez. Minho passed out in my room so Newt offered me to stay in his room.”

Harriet giggled at Sonya’s overreaction, and took over the cooking so the blonde could calm down again. “Sorry,” she mumbled before walking out of the room.

“What was that about?” Thomas asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Harriet said, putting bacon on Thomas’s plate, who immediately started shoving it down his throat. “Pancakes or waffles?”

“Pancakes, duh!”

A few minutes later, Teresa and Minho came down. “Morning guys,” Teresa greeted, while Minho just groggily walked and slumped onto one of the stools.

“Minho, you better feel better later, cause whether you’re up to it or not, we’re going out tonight,” Harriet said, serving the hungover Asian his breakfast.

“Where?”

“Teresa and I searched up a club before the trip, thought it would be fun to check out.”

So more drinking. Is that all they were going to do this week? Yeah, it was fun, but you don’t need alcohol to have fun. Well, you don’t need running shoes to run either. Screw it. Thomas was on vacation. If he wanted to drink all week, he would drink all week.

“Sounds like fun,” Thomas said in between chews.

“Chew before you speak slinthead,” Minho said.

“Oh, I’m SORRY!” Thomas yelled the last part, causing his friend to reach for his head and cry out in pain.

* * *

 

 “Wake up!”

Newt shot up as if the house was on fire. He saw his sister standing at the edge of his bed. “What in the bloody hell was that for?” he asked angrily.

She didn’t say anything, just stood there with her hand on her hip and serious look on her face.

“If you’re not gonna talk, bugger off,” Newt said, falling back onto his pillow.

“Thomas spent the night with you?” she asked.

“Minho took his bed, so I offered him mine.”

“Did...anything happen?”

Newt shot up again and gave his sister a dirty look. “Do _not_ go there right now,” he said sharply.

He knew what she was going to say, and he wasn’t ready for it. He was tired of people lecturing him and telling him what to do. Yeah, he liked Thomas back in highschool, but he got over it. They’re best friends, nothing more.

“Fine, as long as you’re careful. You don’t need to hurt more than you already are,” she said, walking out of the room.

“As if that was possible,” Newt mumbled, getting up and joining the others for breakfast.

* * *

 

Teresa and Harriet were right, the club was pretty cool.

It wasn’t too overcrowded, which Thomas was grateful for, and the atmosphere was really nice. The music was the perfect volume, not so loud like other clubs, and lights weren’t constantly flickering, so you could actually see.

“First round is on me,” Harriet chimed.

“Then I’m ordering the most expensive drink,” Minho declared.

They spent their first round of drinks in their booth just talking and laughing. Thomas missed moments like these the most. Minho telling some stupid sarcastic joke, Teresa punching him right after it, and missed seeing Newt laugh like a little kid at Minho’s stupid sense of humor. That alone brought a smile to Thomas’s face.

“Alright, time to dance!” Teresa announced.

“Do we have to?” Newt whined.

“Yes, now get your butts up!” Sonya yelled.

Thomas wasn’t a dancer, but he would be lying if he said it wasn’t fun. Especially with your friends. They didn’t need to look cool or worry about how bad their dancing was. They just focused on having a good time. Even Newt after a while started to enjoy himself.

Thomas needed a break, and Teresa joined him in getting another drink. When they arrived at the counter and ordered, Teresa looked over to Thomas. “So, how you doing?”

How was he doing? Honestly, not that bad. Yeah, his love life was over as he knew it, but he didn’t really care anymore. Maybe it’s the alcohol or the beach or both, but he’s actually happier than he’s been in a long time.

“I’m doing pretty good actually,” Thomas admitted. “I don’t feel like crap anymore.”

“Good, I’m glad. I wish Newt recovered as quickly as you.”

Thomas knows Teresa wasn’t implying Newt was a crybaby or that he was being overdramatic. She just hated seeing her friend hurt, and so did Thomas. But Thomas knows that by the end of this week, Newt will feel at least somewhat better.

* * *

 

The club isn’t that bad. No annoying people, great atmosphere, good drinks, nice music. It was a good night. Newt forgot all about Gally.

“So,” his sister started. Harriet and Teresa went to the bathroom while Thomas and Minho went off to get one last round of drinks before they headed back home. “We’re on vacation, at a bar, drinking, lots of people…”

“Yeah, and?”

“Well…” Sonya said, but drifted off unsure how to continue.

“Just say it,” Newt demanded.

“A one night stand might make you feel better.”

No, it wouldn’t actually. Meaningless, drunk sex would just make Newt feel worse. Plus, he hasn’t been with anyone since Gally, and he’s not sure if he’s ready for that right now.

“No thanks, I just wanna go back to the house,” Newt said.

“Newt-”

“Sonya, please.”

Newt was grateful when his sister went back to being quiet. Not long after, Thomas, Minho, Harriet and Teresa found their way back to the booth. They each had another drink, danced for fifteen more minutes, and took cabs back to their house.

* * *

 

None of them were ready to go to bed just yet. It was only a little before one in the morning, so they decided to have another bonfire on the beach. Not as long as last night, maybe just an hour. It was slightly chillier than last night, the ocean providing a nice breeze, so Thomas made sure to bring a light jacket with him.

They didn’t drink anymore, as they definitely had enough at the club, so they just sat around the fire reminiscing about the good times back in highschool. Harriet brought up the one time Minho set one of the ovens on fire in their cooking class which burned off Mr. Janson’s eyebrows and Thomas told everyone how Teresa accidentally tripped at the movie theatre one time, her popcorn and soda flying everywhere. It was a nice feeling to just laugh constantly with the people you love the most.

It was almost two in the morning when Harriet and Sonya decided to go to bed. Minho and Teresa went soon after, leaving Thomas and Newt alone once again. Thomas knew Newt liked to listen to the ocean and sit by the fire, which is why he stayed up so late. He was going to sit in silence if that’s what Newt wanted, or he would let Newt vent if he needed to.

Movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention, and when he looked up, he saw Newt moving closer to the fire, wrapping his arms around himself. He didn’t bring a jacket with him out here, so he must be cold. Thomas unzipped his hoodie, scooted over to Newt and put it around him. “Here, take it.”

“What? No, you’ll be cold then,” Newt said, trying to push the jacket away.

“I’m fine, Newt. Really. Take it.”

Newt sighed, but put on the jacket anyway, grateful for the warmth it provided. “Thanks, Tommy,” Newt said, leaning to rest his head on Thomas’s shoulder.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, staring at the fire, the ocean, the stars. Thomas wished he could just stay like this forever. It was such a peaceful feeling. He can see why Newt loves it so much.

“So, what’s the real reason Brenda isn’t here?” Newt asked.

Leave it to Newt to know when Thomas is lying. But he didn’t want to burden Newt by telling him they broke up. Newt was going through enough as it is, he didn’t need more on his plate.

“It’s nothing,” Thomas said, hoping Newt would drop it.

“Tell me shank, or I’ll bribe it out of Teresa.”

Thomas sighed, and told Newt the story. How he and Brenda had changed and that they weren’t compatible anymore. They became distant, and their relationship just slowly unraveled. Newt was quiet, listening to every word Thomas said, and it did feel good to finally talk about it. Especially with Newt. The two always used to help each other through everything.

“I’m sorry, Tommy,” Newt said when Thomas was done speaking. “Sometimes, life isn’t fair. But why didn’t you tell us?” Newt asked, moving off Thomas’s shoulder to look him in the eye.

“Because this week is about you, Newt. I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be okay. That’s what friendship is about, Tommy. We laugh together, we smile together, but we also hurt together, cry together. You’re my best friend and I love you. I am always here for you, even when I have my own pain to deal with.”

They just stood there, staring at one another. Thomas couldn’t look away from Newt’s dark brown eyes, his blonde hair. Newt looked good by the fire. Really good. Thomas didn’t even realize that he started leaning in closer to Newt’s face, and he didn’t notice Newt leaning in either. Before he knew it, their lips were pressed up against each other in a quick, chaste kiss.

Both boys quickly pulled away, realizing what they had just done and desperately trying to apologize to each other.

“Oh, god Newt. I’m sorry - “

“Jeez, Tommy. I didn’t mean to - “

They both stopped after talking over each other, and it was quiet for a moment. But they both laughed afterwards.

“We should get to bed,” Newt said.

They put out the fire, and walked off the beach back into the house.

Once again, Minho crashed with Teresa, which meant Thomas had to crash with Newt again. He’ll have to yell at Minho tomorrow. They both quickly got under the covers and tried to get comfortable. But Thomas couldn’t. Neither could Newt, Thomas guessed by the shuffling next to him. Somehow during their shuffling, they ended up lying face to face, and Newt curled himself into Thomas’s chest. Thomas also noticed that Newt was still wearing the hoodie he had given him. Thomas smiled, and drifted off to sleep rather quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next fic i recommend is 'Howling in the Moonlight' by NekoAliceYamiYaoi. it's a series, and a damn good one i might add. if you're a sucker for newtmas highschool au's (and supernatural elements) this series is for you!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/8127667/chapters/18632047


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the comments and kudos, you have no idea how much such a little thing goes a long way :)  
> and here is chapter three! hope you enjoy it!

_ Judging by the faint light coming through the window, it was early in the morning. Had he fallen asleep here again? _

_ “Good mornin’ gorgeous.” _

_ Newt rolled over to find Thomas grinning at him like an idiot. “I fell asleep again, didn’t I?” Newt asked groggily. _

_ “Yeah, but it’s fine. I like when you spend the night. Now come on,” Thomas said getting up. “Let’s eat.” _

_ “But it’s not even nine o'clock yet!” Newt whined and buried himself under Thomas’s blankets. _

_ “Too bad. My house, my rules.” Thomas then proceeded to yank all the blankets off of the bed, leaving a cold Newt to curl into himself. “Come on, I’ll make you pancakes!” _

_ That got Newt up immediately. “With blueberries?” _

_ “Whatever you want Newtie.” _

_ Newt always loved Thomas’s cooking. He went to the bathroom to freshen up while Thomas went downstairs to start cooking. He looked at himself in the mirror, his blonde hair in complete disarray, and noticed he was in Thomas’s clothes. Thomas must have changed him when he slept. He blushed at the thought and looked away from the mirror.  _

_ When he went downstairs and entered the kitchen, he was met with a singing Thomas, dancing around the kitchen while he was mixing the pancake batter. His parents were away for the weekend, so they didn’t have to worry about making noise.  “Tommy, how are you so bloody cheerful in the morning?” _

_ Thomas turned around and smiled at his friend. “Cause you’re here.” _

_ Newt blushed and couldn’t help the smile coming to his lips. In order to hide his flustering, he grabbed some of the flour and threw it on Thomas. “You sure about that?” _

_ Thomas retaliated by cracking an egg over the blondes head, and a battle in the kitchen ensued, both boys smiling and laughing like idiots. _

* * *

 

Newt woke up with a face full of Thomas’s chest. He was too lazy to move, so he just laid there and breathed in the familiar scent of his best friend. Then it hit him. The splitting headache reminded him of what he had done last night. He kissed Thomas.

He started to freak out inside his head. How could he have kissed his best friend? Granted, he was drunk, and so was Thomas, so hopefully he won’t remember it. But if Newt did, it’s likely that Thomas would too. 

To make matters worse, he had woken up with his face buried in Thomas’s chest! Even worse than that, he was still wearing Thomas’s hoodie! Even worse than that, he didn’t want to move nor take the hoodie off!

“You’re thinking too loud,” came mumbled from above his head.

Newt tilted his head upwards to see Thomas staring down at him. How long had he been awake? Also, why didn’t he try to untangle himself from Newt?

“Are you hungover, or is it just me?” Newt asked.

“Just a little headache,” Thomas admitted.

They laid in bed for a few more minutes, sometimes talking and sometimes just laying next to one another. When they heard commotion coming from downstairs, they took it as their cue to get up and join their friends.

Teresa was the one making breakfast today. She was serving french toast and making omelettes for everyone. She also announced that since everyone was hungover, they would spend the day relaxing and just go out and explore the town tonight, but no drinking. Everyone happily agreed to that.

* * *

 

Relaxing is just what Thomas needed. He laid a towel down on the sand, put on some sunscreen, and bathed in the warmth the sun provided. The sound of the waves crashing onto the shore was relaxing every muscle in his body. If heaven was real, it would definitely be a beach. 

“Mind if I join you?”

Thomas opened his eyes and saw Teresa moving to lie down next to him. “Actually, yeah. You let Minho sleep in our room again.”

“Oh, relax Tom. I’m sure you slept fine with Newt.”

“Not the point. Minho wasn’t that drunk last night, so why didn’t he go to his room?”

When Teresa didn’t respond, Thomas knew she was hiding something. She didn’t like lying to her friends, so she just went silent. But Thomas wasn’t having it. “Teresa -”

“Okay, okay. I’ll tell you, but don’t freak out, alright?”

When Thomas nodded, Teresa told him. “Minho and I….have been dating for the past five months.”

_ “WHAT?!” _ Thomas jumped up to a sitting position.

Dating? Like  _ dating  _ dating? How could they not tell anyone about that? It’s such a big deal! It wasn’t like Teresa or Minho to hide something like that from their friends.

“We didn’t want to tell anyone just in case it didn’t work out.”

“When?” Thomas asked, still surprised by the information he had just received.

“Alby’s party. It just sorta...happened.”

“Teresa, dandruff just sort of happens. Not dating your best friend!”

Thomas realizes he might be coming off as unapproving, but that wasn’t the case at all. In fact, he’s thrilled! He loves the both of them and knows how good they are for each other. He just wished they told him. “And I am happy for you guys, by the way.”

Teresa smiled at him and squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Tom.”

The sounds of the others approaching them caused them to halt their conversation for now. Thomas was sure to get the rest of the story from her at some point.

* * *

 

They headed out for dinner around six. They were just wandering the town until they stumbled upon a restaurant that looked pleasing. That’s when Minho noticed a large green sign in the distance with the name: The Homestead.

The food was really good, and the staff were hilarious. The waiter, Winston, was quite humorous, and the chef, who was nicknamed Frypan, was fantastic. The group had a blast.

Once their stomachs were properly fed, they decided to explore some shops and buy some souvenirs. The girls dragged the boys into a clothing store, spending an hour trying on clothes. Eventually, the guys did too as it was at least a way to past time. After every outfit someone tried on, the group would give approving or disapproving noises. Thomas doesn’t care what they said, that jacket looked good on him!

“It really didn’t,” Newt chuckled as they were walking down the street, shopping bags in hand.

“Whatever,” Thomas said pouting like a kid.

“What I mean is,” Newt said laughing, “is that you are too cool for that jacket.”

Thomas smiled. “I am cool, aren’t I?” Thomas said, making a stupid pose.

“Okay, now you’re not.”

“Yo lovebirds!” Minho shouted from ahead of them. Apparently they had fallen a little behind. “Care to catch up?”

Despite Teresa’s orders of no drinking, they ended up at a bar again. They can’t go as crazy as they did last night, otherwise they would do something stupid. Like kiss your best friend. 

Thomas wanted to ask Newt about it, but figured Newt didn’t remember since he didn’t bring it up. If Thomas really thought about it, he liked the kiss. He liked seeing Newt wear his hoodie. He liked sharing a bed with Newt. Good thing he wasn’t really thinking about it.

That was a lie. With the more alcohol he drank, the more Newt flooded his mind. What the hell is wrong with him? Friends don’t feel the urge to kiss another friend!

That’s what Thomas was nervous about. As soon as he woke up, he remembered how drunk he got last night and how stupid he must have been. Luckily, Newt was just as drunk and understood. It wasn’t like they hadn’t kissed before. For two years in a row, Newt and Thomas didn’t have anyone to kiss at midnight on New Years Eve, so they had kissed each other just for fun. Although Thomas remembers the second time, the kiss lasted longer than normal and turned into something a bit rough. Somehow, they ended up making out in the bathroom for ten minutes. 

Maybe Thomas should quit drinking.

But back to the present, Thomas realized something this morning. When he woke up, his first instinct was to kiss Newt, which is definitely not something friends do. At first, he thought he still might be drunk, but that wasn’t the case. He definitely had to sleep with Teresa tonight.

“Hey, Teresa. Can you promise me I’ll get to sleep with you tonight?” Thomas asked quietly to the girl next to him. Thankfully, the others were engaging in other conversations so they didn’t notice.

Teresa turned her head to look at him with a calculating look. Maybe she knew. She always tends to know things before they are even said. “Why?”

Thomas knew he could tell Teresa anything. They’ve always had a strong connection, different from the others. Just like he had a strong and unique connection with Newt. Saying it out loud also might make him feel better, and Teresa was always great at giving advice. “Let’s talk somewhere more private.”

So they offered to get the next round of drinks for everyone. While waiting for their order at the counter, Thomas told her. “I uh...I think I like Newt.”

Thomas looked to see a response or a reaction from his friend, but she just remained unphased. “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah, just don’t know why you’re telling me this.”

“What?” Thomas asked. He was so confused. How could she no react the same way when she told him she was dating Minho?

“Well, you guys liked each other back in highschool.”

“No we didn’t!”   
“Right, keep telling yourself that,” Teresa chuckled. “But don’t do anything about it right now. You’re both getting out of relationships, so it’s too soon to start dating.”

“I’m not trying to date Newt -”

“Oh, come on Thomas! Why are you the only person who never knows what’s going on in your head? Even Minho of all people can see what’s happening, and he’s not the brightest,” Teresa mused.

When their drinks came, they went back to their friends. Thomas kept repeating what she had said in his head. He looked at Newt across the booth from him, but he realized he was looking at him differently, observing the little details on his face. When Newt caught him staring, the blonde smiled and Thomas smiled back. Did he like Newt all those years ago? They were close, that was for sure. But wouldn’t Thomas have realized he had feelings for him?

And did Newt reciprocate those feelings?

* * *

 

Apparently, bonfires were a tradition each night as the gang once again found themselves around the fire. Newt thinks that this is his favorite part of the whole vacation. It’s something so simple, and definitely something they could do back home, but it was nice nonetheless. The only problem that Newt had with tonight was that Thomas decided to call it a night when Teresa announced she was going to bed. Which meant he would be sleeping with Teresa tonight, to Newt’s disappointment.

Maybe he was tired or maybe the drinking from earlier is starting to get to him. It wasn’t as if Thomas was avoiding him. Or was he? God, why did Newt have to be so stupid? Why did he get so drunk? Why did he kiss his best friend - who at one point he had liked, a lot - when they are both getting out of relationships?

“Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”

It was just Newt and Minho left outside now, as everyone else wanted to turn in for the night. If Thomas were here, he would have tried to talk about last night, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready for Minho’s teasing and sarcastic remarks.

“Nothing, why?” Newt asked trying to play it cool.

“I can see the gears turning in your head,” Minho responded. “Talk to me Newt,” he added, more sincere and genuine. 

Newt sighed, brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face into them. “I’m so bloody stupid,” he mumbled.

“You talking about kissing Thomas?”

Newt shot his head up immediately and stared at his friend. “What?”

“I got up to get a drink of water from the kitchen last night, and just happened to peek out the window to check on you guys,” Minho explained. “It was cute watching you two freak out afterwards,” Minho said laughing.

“Not funny,” Newt deadpanned. 

“Well, you guys getting together is long overdue. You liked him since high school! Although, I think you guys should wait a little while before you start dating. I better be a best man at the wedding. And you have to name your first kid after me!”

Where the hell is Minho getting these ideas from? He and Thomas aren’t dating, and they never will! And yeah okay, Newt had a crush on Thomas in high school, so what? He doesn’t anymore. Right?

“Minho, Tommy and I are not going to date. He doesn’t even like me,” Newt said. It took Newt finally saying to make him realize something. The moment the words came out of his mouth, he felt sad. Why?

Cause he liked Thomas.

“So you’re not denying you still have feelings for him?” Minho asked.

Newt just sighed in frustration and fell back into the sand. “I don’t bloody know anymore Min. Too much is happening all at once.”

That was an understatement. He was still trying to get over Gally and trying to put back together his broken heart, while also possibly falling for his best friend. Again.

Minho came over and laid down next to the blonde, squeezing his shoulder supportively and telling him everything will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next fic im recommending is 'Fireworks & Team Spirit' by sesquipedalia! i think i have a thing for newtmas high school au's. oh well.  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/5248331/chapters/12109016  
> i think the next one won't be a higschool au, since i've already recommended three.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 4 is here!!! hope you all enjoy :)

_New Year’s Eve was upon them. People were taking shots as if it were their last night in the world. Others were dancing while wearing silly party hats and necklaces, some wearing glowing glasses shaped with the new year. It was only a couple minutes till midnight and Thomas didn’t have someone to kiss._

_“You’re not the only one,” Harriet teased._

_“Can I kiss you?” Thomas asked._

_“I didn’t mean me. Jeff got dibs already,” Harriet chuckled. “But ya know who need someone to kiss?” she asked with raised eyebrows and a head nod._

_Thomas followed her gesture and turned to see Newt standing with Teresa, laughing at something the dark haired girl had said. He loved the sight._

_“Wouldn’t that be weird?” Thomas asked._

_“Trust me, it won’t be,” Harriet said, smiling as if she knew something Thomas didn’t._

_Thomas really did want to kiss someone at midnight. Hell, Newt was his best friend, he would understand, right? After taking a deep breath,  Thomas sauntered over the blonde. Now all there was left to do was figure out how to ask him._

_“You okay there Tommy?”_

_Thomas just froze on the spot, nervous and excited at the same time. It must be the alcohol._

_“Earth to Tom?” Teresa asked, snapping her fingers in front of his face._

_Still, Thomas didn’t say anything. Why couldn’t he say anything?_

_He finally broke out of his daze when Minho announced it was one minute till midnight and the ball was dropping. Everyone hurried to find their designated kissing partner and huddled around the television, leaving Newt and a frozen Thomas alone._

_“Tommy, what’s wrong?” Newt asked, putting an arm on Thomas’s._

_“I uh…” Screw it, he’ll just say it. “Can I kiss you at midnight?”_

_They had been best friends for years now, so even if Newt said no, Thomas knew their friendship wouldn’t change at all. He watched Newt’s expression change from a worried one, to one of confusion, until a smile graced his lips and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks. “Yeah,” Newt said nonchalantly, or at least attempted to. There was the smallest crack in his voice. “Why not?”_

_Thomas blushed as well and he pulled Newt over to the rest of his friends. Twenty seconds left. He quickly downed another shot to boost his courage. Everyone started counting down._

_Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six._

_Thomas turned to face Newt and place his hands on the blonde’s waist, pulling him closer, while Newt wrapped his arms around Thomas’s neck, their faces barely an inch apart. They looked into each other’s eyes._

_Five. Four. Three. Two._

_This was it. No backing down now._

_One._

_Everyone erupted into cheering and screaming and kissing. Thomas closed his eyes and leaned into Newt and their lips met. It was a slow, tender kiss, and Thomas was screaming internally at the feeling. It felt...odd, but in a good way. It felt safe and comforting. He didn’t know a kiss could feel like this. Maybe he needs to be friends with a girl first before dating her in order for it to feel like this._

_After he and Newt pulled apart and took a breath they needed, they rested their foreheads against one another._

_“Happy New Year, Tommy.”_

_“Happy New Year, Newt.”_

* * *

 

Thomas woke up completely exhausted and drained. He had spent most of the night tossing and turning, earning a few kicks in the shin from Teresa, but he couldn’t help it. No matter how hard he tried, sleep just wouldn’t come. When he did manage to finally fall asleep, it was only for three hours the most. He blamed the mattress. He wasn’t use to this bed since he slept with Newt the last couple of nights.

Yeah, it was the mattress. Not the blonde who was missing from it.

When he realized Teresa wasn’t in bed anymore, Thomas journeyed out of his room only to find no one downstairs. Where could everyone be? It was past ten, and most of them would have been awake by now.

He went back to his room to see if Teresa left a note for him. When he picked up his phone from the nightstand, he found a message was left for him.

**_Teresa:_ **

**_Minho and I wanted a day to ourselves, hope you don’t mind :)_ **

**_I got Harriet and Sonya to have a girls day as well, so you and Newt could do whatever boys do._ **

**_We’ll catch up at dinner around 7. <3_ **

A whole day. With Newt.

Normally, Thomas wouldn’t freak out about it. Hell, he’s always excited when he gets to spend time with Newt, but now...he has to spend time with Newt while possibly crushing on him?

Speaking of Newt, where was he?

Thomas found the door to his and Minho’s room to find it slightly ajar. He slowly opened it and found Newt sleeping peacefully under the covers, with his messy bed hair in all different directions. It was kind of beautiful.

…

_Beautiful??_

_Okay, don’t freak out. Calm down. Lots of people call their friends beautiful. Right?_

He calls Teresa, Sonya and Harriet beautiful all the time. This was no different. But it was, actually. Thomas felt something different in his heart when he called Newt beautiful, and felt such a warm pleasant feeling whenever he saw Newt smile.

Okay, enough of that. Thomas could dwell about this later. In the meantime, he would start preparing breakfast. Can’t have a great day with Newt without a great breakfast.

* * *

 

_Blueberries._

Newt knows that smell anywhere. Thomas is making blueberry pancakes! God, Newt loved him.

…

Does Newt love him? Or does Newt _love_ him?

Pushing those thoughts away, Newt tiredly yet eagerly climbed out of bed and made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He was surprised that he barely heard any commotion from his friends, as they were usually loud during their morning meal. It made sense that it was quiet when Newt found only Thomas in the kitchen. “Mornin’ Tommy.”

Thomas turned around with a grin spread across his face. “Good morning Newt. You want some pancakes?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Newt teased.

Thomas smiled and went to flip the pancakes and take a sip from his coffee. He then brought over a mug of tea for Newt. “Thanks Tommy,” Newt smiled as he took a sip. Newt can’t remember the last time Thomas made tea for him, yet somehow the brunette still remembered just the way he liked it. Newt smiled inwardly at the thought.

“Why are you smiling?”

Newt looked up at Thomas serving pancakes on their plates, eyeing him somewhat curiously. Guess his smile wasn’t just on the inside. “Just...such a perfect morning.”

Thomas smiled, and the two began to devour their breakfast. They discussed what they would do for the day as everyone else had practically abandoned them. They decided that once they cleaned up breakfast and got dressed, they would head into the town and just spend the day there. Maybe try some restaurants they passed by or do some more shopping. They hadn’t really bought anything the last time they all went. They cleaned up breakfast quickly, dressed, and headed out the door.

* * *

 

Truthfully, they didn’t have a plan. They would just do whatever they stumbled upon. Their first stop was a small random gift shop. They wandered the aisles, browsing at something they could buy. Thomas bought a little Bahamas key chain for his little brother, Chuck. As they left the store, Newt placed something in Thomas’s hand. It was a small keychain with Thomas’s name on it. “Thomas is a general name, so it was easy to find,” Newt explained.

“Yeah, doubt they would have _Newton_ ,” Thomas teased, earning an elbow to the rib from the blonde.

Not much later, Newt saw a small art museum across the street and dragged Thomas over. Thomas wasn’t really much of an art person, although he would admit that paintings were nice to look at. He knew how much Newt loved art and how much Newt loved going to museums and in awe of what some artists were capable of. No matter how often Thomas told Newt he was a talented artist, he never believed it.

It actually wasn’t as bad as Thomas thought. He enjoyed watching Newt take in the artwork around him and listen to him excitingly explain who the artist was and how he loved the medium they used. Thomas couldn’t help but smile the entire time.

When their stomachs rumbled reminding them they needed food, they stopped at a small restaurant and grabbed a quick bite to eat. When the waiter asked if they would like dessert, Thomas gave Newt a wicked grin, causing the blonde to chuckle. They shared the dessert, which from someone else’s view would made it appear that the two were on a date. Which they weren’t. Thomas quickly handed the waiter the money for the bill before Newt even pulled out his wallet, earning  a smack on his arm from the blonde.

After that, they managed to find a small arcade a few blocks away, in which Thomas begged Newt to enter. They played their for an hour, Newt surprisingly good, but not as good as Thomas, and decided that they should head back to the house as it was a little past six.

When they got home, they were greeted by Sonya and Harriet, who had gotten a complete makeover. Hair done, nails painted, the whole thing. They had went shopping for food as well, since Minho decided he wanted to use the grill outside to have a barbecue. The girls started preparing the salad and set the table outside, and before Thomas offered to help, Newt dragged him upstairs. “Just want to give you something really quick.”

When they reached Newt’s room, he pulled out a shopping bag from the closet and handed it to Thomas. “What is this?” Thomas asked.

“Just look and you’ll see.”

Thomas opened the bag and let out a small gasp. It was the jacket that everyone said didn’t look good on him. When did Newt even buy it? “Newt, when did you - ”

“I knew you really loved it, so when you weren’t looking I put it with my things and bought it.”

Thomas looked into Newt’s eyes and couldn’t help but smile. Now his head was spinning with the idea that he had feelings for Newt. Newt, his best friend. Newt, the one always looking out for him. Newt, the one person who he could call home.

It didn’t help matters that Newt was smiling back at him. He pulled Newt into a hug and savoured the warmth and scent of his body. “Thank you, Newt.”

Thomas held on a bit longer than he should have, embracing the scent and warmth of the blonde, but Newt didn’t make any indication he wanted to be released. So he just stood there, holding him. If he wasn’t sure before, was sure now.

He has feelings for Newt.

* * *

 

The barbecue was really good. You can say what you want about Minho, but he was an excellent cook. Now, after they had cleaned up the mess, they were sprawled around the fire drinking once more, except this time Harriet suggested playing truth or dare. Newt was the only one who seemed a bit reluctant, but just did it so his friends would be happy.

“Truth or dare, Tomboy?” Minho asked.

“Dare.” Of course Tommy would say dare.

“Give Harriet a lap dance.”

Teresa spit out her drink and Sonya was roaring with laughter while Harriet gave Minho a glare. Thomas, not being one to back out of a dare, quickly ran over to the girl sitting on the log and straddled her. Newt’s not going to lie, Thomas gave a good lap dance, and he definitely wasn’t jealous of Harriet right now. Not at all.

When they were done, Thomas asked Teresa, who chose truth.

“So T, are you currently...dating anyone?”

Newt doesn’t know why the dark haired girl was so shocked by Thomas’s question. She sent him a dirty glare before taking a deep breath. “Yes, actually.”

“Who is it?” Thomas asked over Harriet and Sonya yelling in surprise. Minho seemed a little shaken by the question.

“That wasn’t the question. Moving on. Newt, truth or dare?” Teresa asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Uh…” Newt didn’t know what to say. What if Teresa asked an embarrassing truth and he had to answer? So he chose dare.

“Make out with the hottest person here,” Teresa said smirking.

Well that plan backfired. He saw everyone eyeing him suspiciously, making _ooh_ noises while Minho stated that he was the hottest person here. He noticed Thomas seem to slightly tense and take a sip from his beer, not looking at Newt.

Newt, remembering he had to kiss someone, just shrugged it off like it was nothing and made up his mind. “Alright, I will.”

So he quickly made his way over to Thomas and straddled his lap to the brunette’s surprise. “Newt what are you - ”

Thomas didn’t get to finish as Newt leaned down and pulled Thomas into a kiss. Not just any kiss, but it was messy and rough. Teresa said make out, and Newt wasn’t about to shy away from this dare.

The others were laughing around them, but Newt didn’t focus on that. Instead, he was focusing on running his hands through Thomas’s hair and over his neck, moaning when Thomas placed his hands on Newt’s thighs and held them tight.

Newt knew he was enjoying this too much. Throughout the entire day, he just had the urge to kiss Thomas, so he took the chance when it represented itself. He could always just blame it on the dare or being drunk if Thomas asked him about it. Come to think of it, whenever they got drunk together, there was a good chance the two would end up kissing.

Remembering it was just a game, Newt knew he couldn’t let this go on forever. If no one else was here, he probably would have started grinding his hips and start marking Thomas's neck, but he couldn't do that. Even though he didn’t want to, he pulled away from Thomas, smirking at the brunette.  “Sorry about that Tommy,” Newt whispered with a smug smile - because he wasn’t sorry - leaving the brunette beneath him speechless. This was almost as good as that second time New Years Eve.

If Newt was doubting it before, he wasn’t anymore. He likes Thomas. Again.

* * *

 

After Newt kissed him, it was quite awkward after that. Luckily, the game didn’t go on much longer, and Newt excused himself to bed. Thomas is definitely not sleeping with Newt tonight. Not that he didn’t want to, but he knew it was too risky. What if they kissed more? That’s not a bad thing, but it isn’t good either.

It was just Thomas, Teresa, and Harriet outside now. Everyone else had called it a night. If he could just get Teresa alone to talk about this.

“So, Tom. Still unconvinced you have feelings for Newt?”

Thomas’s eyes went wide at Teresa, while Harriet just chuckled.

“It’s pretty cute actually,” Harriet stated. “But do you think now is really the best time to go after him? He’s still getting over Gally.”

“Guys, stop. Please.”

He didn’t need their teasing right now. What he actually needed was advice on what to do. He didn’t want to do anything to ruin his friendship with Newt. They’ve been best friends for years, and Thomas doesn’t want to throw it away for a...crush? Or was it more than a crush? After explaining all of that to Teresa and Harriet, they just nodded and went silent for a moment.

“Let us ask you a bunch of questions Tom, and you answer them with the first thing that comes to mind, alright?”

Thomas nodded, and the girls began.

“Who did you call first when you got your college acceptance letter?”  
“Newt.”

“Who was the first person you approached as soon as you walked into high school?”

“Newt.”

“Who did you run to when you needed to get away from everything?”

“Newt.”

“Who did you let stay over night after night when they had problems at home?”

“Newt.”

“Whose side were you by non-stop during his physical therapy, pushing him to get better?”

“Newt.”  
“Who was the hardest goodbye when you left for college?”

“Newt.”

“Who’s the last person you usually talked to before bed?”

“Newt.”

“Who’s the first person you usually think of talking to when you wake up in the morning?”

“Newt,” Thomas said but then sighed.He was getting frustrated. How were these questions going to help? Yes, he and Newt had a strong friendship, with many ups and many downs. They went on late night drives when life became too difficult. They skipped class when it got too boring and roamed around the school making their own fun. They got angry at each other and had small fights, but made up the next day. They had snowball fights, they played laser tag, they cried on each other’s shoulder, they spent weekends locked in one of their rooms playing video games, listening to music, and eating junk food. So what? “Is there a point to this?”

“Yes,” Harriet sighed. “Don’t you see? No matter what we ask, it’s always the same thing for you. Everything comes back to Newt.”

While Teresa and Harriet had an amused look on their faces, Thomas was dumbfounded. How had he not realized this sooner? No matter who he dated, it didn’t feel right. No kiss ever compared to those kisses with Newt on New Years. None of those girls ever gave him that warm fuzzy feeling. But Newt did. Newt always felt safe. He was always warm. He was the closest thing he could call to home. Newt gave Thomas everything and he never noticed.

“Oh my god,” Thomas breathed out. “I’m in love with him, aren’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just warning you guys now, you might hate Thomas in the next chapter...  
> anyways, fic recommendation time! and no, it's not a high school au. this next one is called "First In Love Loses" by lokidiabolus. you may recognize the author as they wrote "Strings" (which the majority of you have probably already read, so I didn't suggest that one even though it's awesome).  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/7540099/chapters/17143423  
> see you all in a week, thanks for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, these past few days have been hard on me i wasnt going to update, but then i remember newt saying “pick your ass up and finish what you started” so i did. hope you enjoy!  
> and you’re probably going to hate thomas after this...  
> IMPORTANT: newt has very dark thoughts in the beginning of this chapter. im also giving a trigger warning for depression and suicide. please be careful when reading!!! i want you all to be safe! <3

_While everyone was laughing and cheering and drinking, Newt was hiding away in Minho’s room. He wasn’t feeling chipper, so he decided rather than bother his friends with his moping or waste his energy in faking happiness, he isolated himself from the commotion. He’d have to make an appearance just before midnight though, as he knew his absence would be noticed._

_No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t feel happy today even though there were plenty of reasons surrounding him. Something was just chaining him down, not letting him escape this pain. Newt learned to deal with his depression and anxiety, and he thinks he should be used to it by now, but lately it has gotten worse._

_“What are you doing?”_

_Newt looked up at the door to see Thomas standing there, eyeing him curiously. “You alright?”_

_“Yeah, just needed a minute away from all the noise,” Newt lied._

_Thomas nodded, shut the door, and sat next to Newt. “You’re not that good of a liar Newt.”_

_Newt just sighed and let his head rest on Thomas’s shoulder, who in turn wrapped an arm around Newt’s waist pulling him closer. “Fine, but I don’t want to talk about it tonight.”_

_“That’s alright,” Thomas said, running his fingers along Newt’s side. “When you’re ready, I’ll be here.”_

_“I know Tommy. Now come on.”_

_Newt wasn’t about to prevent Thomas from having a good time because he was feeling blue, so he would force a smile and fake empty laughs for the rest of the night. He pulled Thomas up  and out of the room and they were immediately swarmed by their friends._

_An hour later, and the ball was going to drop again. Newt managed to sneak into the corner of Minho’s living room in attempts to stay away from everyone. He didn’t need another reminder that once again, he was still alone and single._

_“And what do you think your doing?”_

_Dammit Tommy._

_“Nothin’, just wanted to stay over here.”_

_“Were you really about to leave your best friend without someone to kiss at midnight?” Thomas asked._

_How could Tommy of all people not have found a kissing partner? He was tall, dark, and handsome, and one of the sweetest and funniest people Newt has ever met, albeit sometimes not the brightest. And it just happened that said best friend is who Newt was crushing on._

_He realized it last  year, after they kissed the same night. Newt always knew there was something different with Thomas, but he didn’t know that he actually had feelings for him until after the kiss and a_ **_long_ ** _conversation with Minho. Apparently, it was ‘so shuckin obvious’._

_Maybe it would be wrong to kiss Thomas for his own personal reasons, but Newt felt empty inside. Thomas was the closest thing to making Newt feel something again, and he wanted to take that chance. So he agreed._

_The countdown begun, the clock struck midnight, and they kissed._

_But this was a different kiss. Newt was trying to find a spark or something that would fill that empty void in his chest. When Thomas began to pull away, Newt didn’t let him. He pulled him back in. He wasn’t thinking. He just needed to feel._

_Surprisingly, Thomas didn’t make a move to stop. In fact, he gripped Newt’s waist tighter and pulled Newt closer. They didn’t say anything, they just kept their lips sealed to each other._

_Newt doesn’t remember how but now all of a sudden, they were in Minho’s bathroom making out against the sink. Newt was running his hands through Tommy’s  hair while the brunette was maping every inch of Newt’s body with his hands. Their tongues were exploring each other’s mouths and Newt groaned as Thomas rubbed up against him. Mouths latched onto necks and hands made their way to lower areas. Newt was enjoying this. He didn’t feel cold anymore. He didn’t feel empty. He felt safe and warm. He finally felt hope for the first time in a long time that he would be okay again._

_That is until someone barged in on them, forcing the two to break apart. The person apologized and walked out, but the damage was done. The moment was over._

_Thomas looked at Newt, out of breath and a glint in his eyes, but just like that, it disappeared. “Oh my god,” Thomas chuckled nervously. “Newt, I’m so sorry,” he apologized, then started to laugh._

_Newt didn’t know what to do, so he just laughed with him and pretended it was okay. “It’s fine Tommy. We probably shouldn’t have anymore to drink though.”_

_“Yeah,” Thomas said when he was done laughing. “At least this will be a funny story to tell one day.”_

_Newt couldn’t find words to respond, so he just nodded and followed Thomas out of the bathroom. All the warmth he felt was gone. His hope vanished as quickly as it came. He felt cold and empty again. But he would put on a brave face and act like everything was perfectly fine._

_But how long could he go on living like this? Is this even considered living?_

_Newt realized that no, it is not living. So what was the point then?_

* * *

 

Thomas didn’t get much sleep that night. He spent hours over analyzing things and creating imaginary scenarios in his head. How do you tell your best friend that you have feelings for them? And how do you explain that you don’t know what those feelings are? Sighing, he rolled out of bed - since he didn’t fall asleep until about seven-thirty, he woke up a little after ten - and stumbled his way downstairs to his friends.

He walked in on them being stupid as usual. Minho was trying to steal Sonya’s bacon and Harriet threw a waffle at them, Teresa just sitting on the island sipping her coffee. Thomas also noted that Newt was not in the room. Was he still asleep?

“Hey Tom,” Teresa greeted and handed him a cup of coffee when he walked into the kitchen. “You look like total shit.”

“Thanks,” he scoffed. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“I know, you were tossing and turning the whole night. It was pretty annoying.”

It’s even more annoying when your the person who can’t actually fall asleep. He chugged down his coffee quickly, hoping the caffeine would wake him up. “Where’s Newt?”

“Showa,” Minho said between his chews, earning a grunt from Sonya.

“Chew your food before you speak!” she yelled.

Minho smirked and opened his mouth wide, revealing all the gross chewed food in his mouth, making Sonya shriek and Harriet burst into laughter. Teresa took the distraction to pull Thomas into the living room. “So, have you thought about last night?”

Of course he has! What kind of question was that? “Yeah, I did. And I have no clue what to do T.”

“You have to talk to him about it,” she said softly.

“How? What if he doesn’t feel the same and I ruin it? Or what if he does feel the same, we go out, it doesn’t work, and we ruin our friendship?”

“Thomas, listen to me carefully,” Teresa said as she put her drink on the coffee table. She looked straight into Thomas’s eyes when she spoke. “Ever since we’ve been friends, you and Newt have had the strongest bond between any of us in the group. No matter what happens, you will not lose each other. You two are too stubborn to let each other go. It was torture for you not seeing him in college. You were always moping that you missed him and wanted to see him. Newt probably did the same exact thing. Talk to him tonight, and then we when get back home, you guys can sort this out, okay?”

Thomas nodded, digesting everything she just said. She was right. There was no way he and Newt were going to lose each other again. Thomas would make damn sure of it.

“Also, since we don’t want to be hungover when we leave, we’re going out tonight rather than tomorrow night. So rest up today,” she said and walked away.

Great. More alcohol. That means more bad decisions.

* * *

 

Not even the hot water against his skin could help him relax. Newt spent the whole night and morning freaking out. It was too much. His heartbreak from Gally was still hurting him, and now all of the stress from thinking about Thomas was just making everything worse. Nothing could ever just go easy in life.

Minho suggested talking to Thomas about all this, and it would help while also making things worse. On the one hand, he could finally get it off his chest and he would feel relieved. On the other hand, it could make things worse between the pair.

After his shower, Newt found his way downstairs to eat breakfast with his friends. He couldn’t help but stare at Thomas during most of the meal. He got flustered when he Thomas noticed the staring, and Newt also caught Thomas staring a couple times as well. Newt knew now something was different between the two. He had done something and now their friendship was different. Thomas was probably confused and feeling awkward because of their actions during the week. Well, there’s only a couple more days to go, then they would be back home. He could survive another couple of awkward days with Thomas.

But the truth is, Newt would be sad to go back home. He did pretty well in not thinking about Gally, although he couldn’t help if his ex popped up in his head, and he had a great time with his friends. Once he got home, however, he had to deal with real life once again. He would have to finish moving out of his and Gally’s apartment and move his things into Minho’s, and have to deal with the fact that he won’t be seeing Thomas and Teresa for a while again. They only lived an hour away from each other, which isn’t that bad, but their work schedules make it hard to see each other that often.

So Newt’s going to put on a brave face and enjoy the time he has left with his friends before he has to go back to the sad reality that is his life.

* * *

 

Back to the same club once again. Sure, it was a good club, and Thomas loved doing anything with his friends. But the problem was that Minho was trying to kill Thomas with alcohol poisoning. All Thomas wanted to do tonight was have a chat with Newt and discuss what was happening between them. Or if there _was_ something happening between them. Maybe Thomas was making it all up, who knows?

When Harriet declared that everyone should start dancing because one of her favorite songs came on, Thomas took the opportunity for him and Newt to remain at the booth alone. “You guys go ahead,” he said. “I don’t feel like dancing right this second.”

“I’m with Tommy,” Newt said.

Good. The plan to get him alone worked. That was easy.

“Alright, but you _are_ getting off your cute little butts at some point!” Harriet exclaimed, dragging Sonya by the arm towards the floor where Minho and Teresa already were.

“My butt is not cute,” Newt said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah it is Newtie.” Oh God, how much has he had to drink tonight? This is definitely not going to help things out. Luckily, Newt just smirked and took another sip of his drink.

Okay, now to approach this carefully. Thomas needs to get this out without saying something totally stupid...which he is famous for.

 _“Hey Newt, I think I like you.”_ Nope.

 _“Hey, would you wanna date your best friend?”_ Okay what?

“Newt I need to talk to you about something.” Yeah, that could work.

“Okay, shoot,” Newt said.

Thomas turned to look at Newt with wide eyes. He just spoke his thoughts. He was probably too drunk to have this conversation right now, but he needed to have it.

“I, uh….these past few days I’ve been...how do I say this…”

“You bloody say it Tommy, that’s all you gotta do.”

Okay, just one quick deep breath and then he’ll say it.

Just as he went to open his mouth, a vibration from the table drew his attention. He looked over to see Newt’s phone ringing...with Gally’s name appearing.

Newt looked at it, sighed, and ignored the call. “Sorry about that, he’s been calling a lot,” Newt explained.

“Oh. How come?”

“Who knows. Anyways, it’s not important. I’m not here to think about him….even though I’ve been doing that a lot during this trip,” Newt admitted.

So Newt was still hung up on Gally. It’s understandable, but for some stupid reason, Thomas had hoped that Newt was finally starting to move on. Not ready enough to date Thomas, but to at least talk about it.

“Do you still love him?” Thomas asked before he could stop himself.

Newt didn’t answer right away. He just keep looking Thomas straight in the eye. Thomas could tell Newt was contemplating his answer, and it wasn’t going to be an easy one.

“I think so,” Newt sighed. “Which I hate cause the bloody bastard cheated on me. Maybe I should just have a one night stand like Sonya said.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, Sonya said that if I slept with someone else I’d feel better, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” Newt said, his fingers playing with his beverage.

“Because you still love Gally,” Thomas mumbled, looking anywhere but Newt. God, why was he stupid? First, he fell for his best friend without realizing it. Second, he realized it once his friend was cheated on by his spouse. And third, he had hope that he could actually be with his best friend. He was just a stupid, drunk idiot.

“Tommy, you alright?”

“Yeah,” he lied. “I’m gonna get some fresh air, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Although, when he got outside, he got the first cab he could find and went straight back to the house. He couldn’t be here with Newt any longer, and he doesn’t mean to blame him, but he can’t look at him without realizing how much he’s fallen for the blonde.

* * *

 

Two hours later, Newt was storming onto the beach after Thomas. How could he just leave without telling anyone? Doesn’t he know he had everyone worried? Why is he always this stupid?

He found his friend sitting on the beach, knees brought to his chest and staring out into the ocean. The moonlight on Thomas’s face somehow impossibly made him more beautiful than he already was. Newt wanted nothing more to sit beside his friend and count the moles on his face and run his hands through his soft hair. But now isn’t the time for that. Newt was owed an explanation.

“What in the bloody hell Thomas!” Newt yelled when he reached him. “Why would you run off like that without telling someone?”

Thomas didn’t answer. He barely even noted Newt’s presence, which angered Newt even more. Why was he acting like this? Tommy was never cold to him. “Talk to me Tommy. Please.”

“I just needed to get away Newt,” Thomas sighed.

“From what? The club?”

More silent treatment. All Newt could hear was the calming sound of the waves crashing against the shore. This wasn’t Thomas. Thomas was always the talkative one. He always said what he was feeling no matter what. Something wasn’t right. Newt moved down to sit next to him, mirroring Thomas’s position. “Tommy, what’s wrong?” Newt pleaded.

“Nothing. I’m just stupid.”

“What do you mean?”

“Forget it,” Thomas said, getting up and starting to walk away.

“Don’t shut me out like this Thomas!” Newt yelled, darting after him. “I thought we promised each other to always talk-”

“No, I made _you_ promise to talk to _me_. I made no such deal.”

“What the fuck is your problem mate?”

“Oh, you want to know my fucking problem?”

“Of course! I’m your friend!”

“And that’s all you’ll ever be right?” Thomas mumbled.

“What?” Newt asked. “Thomas, what are you bloody babbling on about?”

“Forget it. Just go be with Gally since you love him so much.”

“Stop Thomas,” Newt demanded, grabbing Thomas’s arm as he tried to walk away.

“Why aren’t you over him yet, huh?” Thomas yelled as he turned around.  “The guy was never right for you! He cheated on you, and you still love him!”

“I can’t help how I feel Thomas!”

“Neither can I Newt!”

Brenda. That’s what this was all about. Did Thomas still miss her? “It’s okay to still have feelings for Brenda, Tommy.”

“Wow,” Thomas scoffed. “And I thought I was oblivious, but nope. You’re just as bad as me.”

“Why are you being such a shithead?” Even though Newt knew Thomas was drunk, the words still stung. Throughout all their years of friendship, Thomas was never this harsh.

“Oh, I’m being a shithead?”

“Yes, and you’re being dramatic and stupid-”

“Dramatic and stupid? Really? Newt, _you_ tried to _kill yourself_ and I’m the dramatic one? I mean - ”

Newt cut Thomas’s words short by sending his fist into his friend's face. A puzzled Thomas looked up at him from his spot on the ground, rubbing at the sore spot on his face. How could Thomas of all people say that to him? His best friend, his anchor, his...everything. He said it like it was no big deal. And yeah, Thomas might be drunk, but that is still no excuse.

Newt could feel the rage and sadness swelling inside him. His eyes were starting to water and he couldn’t help but to tremble with the emotions overcoming him. “Fuck you Thomas.”

Newt stormed back into the house, leaving a drunk and confused Thomas on the beach, not caring whatever his issue was anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you hate thomas? I wrote this and I hate him, even though it was my doing...  
> fic recommendation time! this one is called "Ten" by ava_kay. It's honestly so good and i can't wait till it's done! it's also helped me out a lot  
> it deals with mental health issues, so check the tags and trigger warnings before you read.  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/13236135/chapters/30276486


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 6! woo! only one more after this :( there are probably a few grammar errors in this, but i couldn't wait to update! so sorry if there's mistakes! and i feel like this chapter isnt written the best, but hey i tried.  
> BUT PLEASE CHECK THE TAGS cause the tags and rating have changed.  
> now lets see if thomas can fix what hes done.

_This was it. Their last day together._

_Minho had already left as well as Harriet. Thomas and Teresa were leaving for college tomorrow, and Newt and Sonya would be leaving a couple of days after that. Thomas had invited everyone over as it was their last night to be together for a few months. They ordered pizza, watched a few bad movies, laughed at the stupidest things, and it was the perfect night._

_Teresa left a bit earlier as her parents wanted to spend some time with her as well, while Sonya was tired and left to go to bed. Thomas was grateful that Newt hadn’t decided to go home yet. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the blonde. Unfortunately, he would have to._

_They were lying on Thomas’s bed now side by side, staring at the ceiling and reminiscing about all their good times together, and Thomas was trying hard not to be upset, but he couldn’t help it. “This really sucks,” Thomas blurted out without meaning to._

_“I thought we weren't going to get sad?” Newt teased, turning his head to look at the brunette._

_“I know, I know. It’s just gonna suck not seeing you guys everyday.”_

_Newt sighed and placed a hand onto Thomas’s. “I know, Tommy. But we’re not going to stop being friends. Remember that. And if you need us, we’re just a phone call away.”_

_Thomas flipped his hand around and intertwined it with Newt’s, giving it a squeeze. If Thomas was honest, he was going to miss Newt the most. Newt was always there, encouraging Thomas when he had no confidence, pushing him to do better in school, yelling at him when he did something stupid. Newt always gave the best pep talks, and Thomas knows he’s going to need a lot of those during college._

_“I just hope it flies by fast so we can all be together again. I already miss Harriet and Minho.”_

_“Yeah,” Newt agreed. “But they seem to be enjoying their first couple of days, so that’s good. Are you excited?”_

_“Yes and no,” Thomas admitted. “I can’t wait to go, but I just wish you guys could come with me. It’s great that Teresa and I will be together, but I want you there too. And Minho and Sonya and Harriet.”_

_“Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way Tommy.”_

_Nope. Life isn’t fair. He had to say goodbye to three best friends already, and he would have to say goodbye to one more tonight. But he just couldn’t._

_“You wanna spend the night?” Thomas asked._

_Newt looked up at the brunette and frowned. “Don’t you have to leave early?”_

_“Not that early. Plus I really am not ready to say goodbye to you just yet.”_

_Newt smiled and let out a small laugh. “Sure, I’ll stay over. But we should get to bed, like now,” Newt said glancing at the time._

_Thomas was glad. He knew that no matter what, tomorrow he would have to bid farewell to the blonde, and it killed him to think about that. Unfortunately, it did._

_Now, they finished breakfast, packed the car, and this was their goodbye. Thomas and Newt were both standing awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say. So they just did what felt right. They embraced in a hug, tightly holding onto one another trying not to tear up. Which they were failing at._

_“This is silly,” Newt chuckled, then sniffled. “We’re gonna talk to each other all the time. Why are we making a big fuss?”_

_“Cause we’re stupid,” Thomas joked, making the blonde laugh. He was hoping it would keep the  tears at bay, but he still felt them forming. After about of minute of holding each other, they let go. Thomas stared at the blonde, memorizing every detail of his face as he wouldn’t be seeing it for a while. He took one last look into those dark brown eyes, hoping to take the warmth he gets from them with him._

_Newt looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. He just smiled at Thomas instead. One last quiet moment with his best friend._

_“I’ll miss you,” Newt said as a tear fell from his eye._

_“I'll miss you too." Thomas replied, moving to wipe away the tear from Newt's face. "So much. Just...if you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to call me. You know I’ll come.”_

_“I made you a promise, didn’t I?”_

* * *

 

“Wake up!” a voice yelled harshly at him, followed by a pillow being slammed into his face.

Thomas jumped up to a sitting position in panic, only to be hit by a wave of nausea and fall back down. Everything hurt and he felt sick as hell. When he finally gained the strength to open his eyes, he saw Minho and Teresa leering down at him, and they did not look happy. “What?” Thomas asked through a groan. “Can’t you see I’m dying?”

“You probably deserve it you stupid shank,” Minho hissed.

“What the hell is wrong with you Tom?”

“What are you guys talking about?” Thomas asked. He literally just woke up. How could he have managed to anger them in his sleep?

“What you did last night dumbass!”

“What I did - “

Oh.

_Oh._

_OH!_

Last night! He had that stupid fight with Newt! He was so jealous and angry and upset that he started yelling at him. Something about Gally, Thomas doesn’t remember exactly what was said. “Where’s Newt?”

“Sonya and Harriet took him out for the day,” Minho said. “He didn’t want to be here.”

“And you should be lucky it’s us here, because Sonya was ready to cut off your dick.”

 _Shit._ Thomas must have done a lot of damage last night. “What did I say? Did he tell you? I can’t - ”

“Remember?” Teresa cut in. “Of course not, you’re an idiot.”

Teresa filled him in on every single awful thing Thomas had said, and he felt his heart sinking lower and lower with every word coming out of her mouth. Did Thomas really say these things? He’s such a horrible person, and a worse friend. He needed to see Newt now and try to make things right. He asked where he went, but Minho and Teresa wouldn’t tell him. “You’re going to sit here for the rest of the day and think about what you’ve done,” Teresa scolded. “When he comes back, you are going to fix this and make it right.”

Thomas would make it right. He would apologize and apologize and beg for forgiveness. And...he would tell Newt everything. Tell Newt that he means so much more to him than just a friend. Then he would leave the decision up to Newt. He would do whatever Newt wanted and whatever would make him happy.

* * *

 

It was torture waiting for Newt to come home. Thomas didn’t do anything but pace back in forth all throughout the house for hours. He didn’t deserve to relax on the beach, he didn’t deserve to go out and have fun. He had messed up big time.

Eventually, Minho got annoyed by his pacing and told Thomas to go to his room. The brunette grumbled but complied.

A few minutes later, Newt walked in through the front door with Harriet and Sonya. “Where is he?” Sonya asked.

“In his room,” Minho replied.

“I’m going to bed, I’ll see you guys in the morning,” Newt said walking upstairs. He didn’t mean to bring his friends down, but the faster he went to sleep, the sooner the trip was over. He couldn’t stand to be here anymore.

When he opened his bedroom door, he froze. Thomas was there, sitting on his bed. “What are you doing? Minho said you were in your room.”

“My room is with you,” Thomas whispered.

Newt scoffed and shut the door. “So is this the part where you try to apologize for being the biggest idiot on Earth?” Newt didn’t care how harsh he was being. Thomas was an ass last night and he deserved to be treated poorly right now.

“Yes.”

“Well I don’t want to bloody hear it, so if you could just leave that would be great.”

“Not until we talk Newt.”

“What great it did us last night right?”

Newt could still here Thomas’s words ringing in his head. He could still see the anger on his face when he said them. He was supposed to be his best friend, but a real best friend would never say something like that.

“Newt, please. Let me tell you what I need to say, and then I’ll go.”

The look in Thomas’s eyes proved that the brunette wasn’t going anywhere until he said his piece. So Newt sighed and gestured for him to continue.

“Okay, so...I don’t really even know where to begin, honestly. Newt, since we were twelve, you have been the one constant in my life. The one person I could turn to, the yin to my yang if you will. Over a decade, and your still the one person I couldn’t possibly live without. You mean so much to me, and the thought of hurting you like I did makes me wish I was dead. I’m supposed to be here to support you, but I go off and get drunk and wallow in my own pain. What kind of shitty friend am I?”

Newt stood there the whole time, listening intently to Thomas’s speech. He heard the pain and sorrow in his friends voice, and Thomas being Thomas, made Newt’s heart ache because of it. Sighing in defeat, because somehow Thomas always won, Newt sat down next to the brunette and put a hand on his thigh. “You’re not a bad friend Tommy.”

“But I’m not the best,” Thomas admitted. “Newt, you deserve the entire world, and I wish I could give it you. I want to give it to you...if you’ll let me,” Thomas mumbled at the end.

“Huh?”

Thomas took a deep breath before continuing, his entire body shaking with nerves. “Look, Newt. Lately, I’ve been feeling things and realizing things. Maybe they had always been there, I don’t know, I’m pretty slow you know,” he joked, causing the two to let out a chuckle. “But I’m realizing it makes so much sense.”

“What makes sense, Tommy? Because right now, you aren’t making any.” Newt knew Thomas had a point, he just always had to take the long road in getting there. It’d be nice for a change if Thomas could just come out and say what he wanted to say.

“Newt, I need you to promise me that after what I say, you won’t stop being my friend,” Thomas said behind tear-filled eyes. “Please, because I can’t lose you Newt, I can’t.”

Newt was scared now. If something was freaking Thomas out this much, it couldn’t be good. Newt was trying to think back to any past conversation to see if maybe he hinted that something was wrong, but other than last night, there was nothing. “Tommy, you aren’t going to lose me. You can tell me anything.”

Moments passed and no one said  a word. The two boys just stared at one another, Thomas trying to stop the tears and Newt preventing any from forming. Newt’s heart was pounding in his chest, and he was sure Thomas’s was as well. Newt just hoped whatever Thomas said wouldn’t be awful, because he doesn’t want to lose Thomas either. His Tommy. The one he fell for all those years ago. Maybe not as kids, but their instant connection when they first met should have been a warning sign.

“I think...I think I’m in love with you Newt.”

Newt couldn’t breathe. He was sure he didn’t hear Thomas right. Thomas. In love. With him. No, that can’t be right. “What - what did you just say?”

“I want to be with you Newt,” Thomas said, looking Newt dead in the eye. “I’m sorry it’s such a shitty time to say it, but I have feelings for you. I might have always had them, I don’t know. You’re just...all this time, you were there by my side. We had each other’s backs no matter what. And it kills me to think of you still loving Gally or wanting a one-night stand.”

Newt couldn’t find any words. Thomas had feelings for him. His Tommy. All this time. He spent years in high school pining after him, and now he finally loves him back?

“I don’t expect you to say anything, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way. I just needed to tell you. That’s why I acted like an ass last night. I got jealous, which I have no right. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I just - ”

Newt shut Thomas up with a hard desperate kiss. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was bliss. It wasn’t unlike there other kisses before. Those definitely held their secret feelings towards one another, but this was a whole different level. This was happening because they both wanted it to happen. There was no dare, no holiday to celebrate, no alcohol. This was because they loved each other.

Newt pulled away and rested his forehead against Thomas’s. “Tommy, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that,” Newt admitted. “Everything you just said? I’ve felt it since high school, and I was too afraid to do anything about it. But, I want to be with you too, Tommy.”

Then they kissed again. It was needy, it was rough, it was desperate. Thomas pulled Newt closer to him and Newt placed one hand on Thomas’s neck and the other in his hair. Before they knew it, Thomas was lying against the mattress with Newt on top of him, their tongues intertwining and their hands roaming. This was everything Newt had been dreaming about since he was fifteen. It took him almost ten years, but he finally got the boy he was pining for.

Thomas rolled them over so he was on top and started kissing Newt’s jaw, working his way down to his neck, biting and sucking on Newt’s skin, earning a moan from the blonde. There was definitely going to be a mark there, but Newt didn’t care. He did the same thing to Thomas, who hissed when Newt bit down.

Newt was desperate and he needed Thomas now. Like right now. He pushed Thomas up and started taking the brunette’s shirt off, watching his abs and muscular chest become visible. Newt always loved Thomas’s body. Newt pulled his shirt off right after, pulling Thomas back in and relishing in the feeling of their skin pressed against each other.

Newt rolled them over and sat in Thomas’s lap, who moved to a  sitting position, and started grinding down on him. Thomas was moaning against Newt’s lip, mumbling the blonde’s name like a prayer.

“Newt, wait,” Thomas said as he pulled away from the blonde. His arms were still wrapped around Newt’s back and Newt still had his hands fisted in Thomas’s hair.

“Are you sure you want this?”

“Tommy, this is the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted.”

The two stood still for a moment, gazing into one another’s eyes. Thomas kissed Newt again, but this one wasn’t rough like the others. It was soft, tender, and full of love. They were admitting to each other how much they really did love each other in that one kiss.

It was only for a moment or two until they were back at it again. The rest of their clothes were shortly  discarded after that, leaving the two naked and flushed up against one another. Newt reached a hand over to the nightstand next to the bed and pulled out a condom and lube - Minho bought it as a joke when they went into town the one day, but who’s laughing now? - and placed them on the bed. “Tommy, I need you now.”

He couldn’t wait. He needed to feel Thomas now. If it wouldn’t hurt him, he would skip preparing himself, but he wanted to enjoy his time with Thomas.

Thomas pushed Newt flat on his back and reached for the bottle of lube. He coated two of his fingers and started rubbing against Newt’s entrance. Newt moaned at the cold liquid, but once Thomas put the first finger in, he let out a strangled noise that made Thomas nervous. “Am I hurting you?”

“No.”  It's always a bit uncomfortable at first. “Keep going.”

Thomas didn’t need to be told twice. He kept pushing his finger back and forth, and it wasn’t long until he slipped in a second one, stretching Newt out more. One particular thrust that hit him _just right_ caused Newt to practically scream out in pleasure. “ _God,_ Tommy!”

“What?”

“Do that again,” Newt begged.

Thomas did. Over and over, making Newt cry out in bliss. Thomas added a third finger, stretching out Newt much as he could, but Newt couldn’t wait anymore. “Thomas, stop. I’m ready.”

Thomas slowly pulled out his fingers and gave Newt a once over. “Are you sure?”

“Tommy, just bloody do it already!” Newt didn’t mean to snap, but God, how long was he expecting to wait? He’s waited years for this, he didn’t want to wait a second longer.

The brunette reached over for the condom, ripping it open quickly and sliding it on, rubbing some of the lube on it as well. He leaned back down over Newt, aligning himself and kissing Newt as he started to enter him.

He couldn't help but to throw his head back onto the bed and arch his back as he felt Thomas’s slowly and agonizingly enter him. He let out an embarrassing moan against Thomas’s mouth at the feel from it, but he couldn’t control himself anymore.

Once fully inside him, Thomas remained still to give Newt a chance to adjust to the intrusion. Newt busied himself by capturing Thomas’s lips into a heated kiss once again, which also helped ease the slight pain that he was feeling.

When he felt more comfortable, Newt moved his hips to indicate that Thomas could move. So the brunette slowly pulled out a bit, and went back in. They found themselves in a comfortable rhythm, Newt stroking himself matching with Thomas’s thrusts. The only sounds in the room were the slap of skin on skin and the moans and grunts from the two. Newt felt the pleasure vibrating all throughout his body, but it wasn’t enough. “Tommy, go faster. _Please_.”

It seems Thomas had no problem following orders because he instantly started moving his hips faster, and harder, hitting Newt in _that_ spot causing the blonde to scream out in pleasure. It wouldn’t be long until Newt reached his climax. The way Thomas was going, he would be done for in a matter of seconds.

“Newt,” Thomas grunted. “I think I’m gonna -”

“Me too,” Newt replied through a moan.

Another few thrusts and Newt yelled Thomas’s name out as he reached his climax. Thomas followed right after, letting out the most beautiful whimper - it wasn’t a whimper, but Newt wasn’t sure how else to describe it - gasping for air before collapsing onto Newt.

Moments passed with Newt running his hands gently through Thomas’s hair, the brunette still lightly gasping for air against Newt’s chest. The blonde couldn’t help but wonder if this was all a dream. Maybe Gally never cheated on him. Maybe he just imagined this whole week with his friends. Thomas didn’t admit that he loved Newt. They didn’t just have sex. Newt was sure he would wake up any second from this dream. But if this was a dream, Newt didn’t care if he ever woke up again, as selfish as that may sound.

But when Thomas rose his head and looked at Newt with those adorable eyes - those deep dark brown orbs that Newt had been lost in for years, the ones he fell in love with, the ones he always wanted to be looking into - he knew that this had to be real.

“Are you real?” Newt spoke just above a whisper. “Is any of this real?”

Newt couldn’t possibly deserve this. He’s known all his life that he was never allowed to be happy, and he’s learned to accept that. He’s known for years that he and Tommy were never meant to be. But that doesn’t mean he wanted it any less.

Thomas seemed confused by the question, but was quick to answer. “I’m real Newt," he said as he put a hand on Newt's cheek. "This is real. I’m with you.”

“Promise me,” Newt pleaded. He needed this to be real. It had to be real. Because if this wasn’t, Newt wouldn’t be able to cope.

Thomas leaned in and pressed his mouth onto Newt’s, kissing him with all the love, tenderness, and passion to prove it to Newt.

“I promise Newt,” Thomas said after pulling away.

Newt’s heart skipped a beat. A tired smile managed to form on his face. He finally had Thomas.

“I love you Tommy.”

“I love you too, Newt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant write smut so it's not that good. oh well! only one more chapter! i'm excited to conclude this story, but im also sad to let it go.  
> fic recommendation: the "Call My Name" series by KathSilver. DEFINITELY worth the read. trust me, you wont be sorry!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/series/954207  
> thanks for reading once again! see you in a week :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter! im so sad to let this go :( BUT i've decided that i want to write a few one-shots for this story! i have a couple of ideas in mind, but if you have any as well, feel free to leave any requests in the comments! and if you want, the title of the fic is named after the song The Sun is Rising by Britt Nicole, if you wanna listen to it during this chapter. I'll put ** where I think you should start the song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO36F--Vn1g  
> also, conclusions aren't my strong point, so forgive me if it's a little eh. it's also kinda cheesy and cliche but oh well newt deserves all the happiness in the world.  
> IMPORTANT: tw for suicide. the flashback this chapter is of a post-suicide attempt, so please be careful when reading.

_“Tom?”_

_Thomas jolted awake, but immediately regretted it as he felt pain and discomfort all over his body. Sleeping on a chair in the waiting room was not the most comfortable thing in the world, but he’ll be damned if he left before seeing Newt._

_“How long have I been out for?” Thomas asked, rubbing his neck._

_“Only a couple of hours,” Teresa said, taking a seat next to him. “He’s awake. The doctor’s said we can see him in a few hours.”_

_Thomas looked up at her, glad that his best friend was awake, but still upset he couldn’t see Newt. “Why can’t we see him now?”_

_“The doctors said he needs time to process everything,” Teresa said, lowering her voice sadly at the last part of her statement. “Sonya was allowed in because she’s family, but she said she’ll update us when she can.”_

_Thomas had to fight back the tears again. He could still hear Minho’s trembling voice on the phone the day prior, telling him Sonya found Newt lying on the ground in front of his apartment building, bruised and bleeding, his one leg twisted horribly, and they were on the way to the hospital. Thomas completely collapsed onto the floor when he had heard that Newt was hurt...or worse. He quickly called Teresa and she drove them there as fast as possible._

_“Do you think…” Teresa started but stopped, seeming unsure what to say. “Do you think he...jumped?”_

_Thomas couldn’t think of that. He couldn’t think of Newt in so much pain that he had to jump a building. Yeah, Newt and Sonya didn’t have the best home life and he had to deal with depression and anxiety, but Newt always assured him that he was okay. ‘I’m fine, Tommy. I’ll let you know when something is wrong. Promise.’ Newt broke his promise, and Thomas was a horrible friend for not seeing Newt needed him._

_“I don’t know,” Thomas admitted defeated._

_Minho and Harriet returned, coffee and snacks in their hands. It would do them no good to starve themselves waiting. “I finally reached their parents and told them what happened,” Harriet said, sitting next to Teresa. “They’re getting the first flight they can.”_

_Minho sat on the other side of Thomas, putting a hand on his shoulder and telling him everything is going to be okay, while Harriet and Teresa held each other._

* * *

 

_Pain. Exhaustion. Regret._

_Newt felt so many things all at once it was too much to bear. The doctors and nurses kept asking him questions, but he couldn’t find the strength to answer them. He just needed quiet._

_Not much later, when he started to become more aware of his surroundings, Sonya was allowed to see him, although he didn’t want her or anyone to see him in this state. She walked in, her eyes red and puffy from crying for so long. She rushed over and hugged him carefully so not to hurt him, sobbing into his shoulder._

_“I’m sorry Sonny,” Newt whispered._

_“How could you do that Newt? How could you think this was the answer? Did you think about what it would do to me? Mum? Dad? Thomas, Minho? Everyone?”_

_The frustration and sadness were clear in her tone, but he knew she wasn’t yelling at him. She just needed to vent to him and Newt could understand. If the roles were reversed, he would be doing the exact same thing._

_“I’m sorry,” is all he could say. He knew she knew that he jumped. The doctors asked, but he didn’t say anything to them. But Sonya knew him too well. She knew he was hurting, but Newt wouldn’t let her or anyone in. It wasn’t their problem to deal with. Newt just couldn’t take it anymore. So he did what he thought was the only solution._

_He just hoped Thomas and the others weren’t angry at him and could forgive him._

* * *

 

_Hours later, Thomas and the rest were finally allowed to see him, although the doctors said it was best to go in one at a time. Thomas went first, needing to see his blonde friend immediately. When he walked in, he saw the bruised and battered boy, his leg strung up in a cast. It broke his heart._

_Newt turned at the person walking in and smiled. “Hey Tommy,” he said, just above a whisper._

_Thomas broke down, not caring if the tears fell from his face. He quickly ran to Newt and hugged him, letting out sobs. He pulled away after a moment, moving to sit in the seat beside the bed and took Newt’s hand in his. He noticed the blonde was crying now as well._

_“I’m so sorry,” Newt said between sobs._

_Thomas shushed him and rubbed a hand through Newt’s hair to soothe him. “Newt, I need to ask you something, and I really need you to be honest with me. Can you do that?”_

_When Newt nodded, Thomas continued. “Did you jump?”_

_Newt looked anywhere but Thomas when he answered. “Yes.”_

_He could hear it in his voice: guilt, regret. Not regret for doing it, but regret for hurting his loved ones._

_“Why didn’t you talk to me?” Thomas pleaded. “Am I such a bad friend that I didn’t see you needed help?”_

_“Tommy, no.” Newt intertwined his hand with the one Thomas had given him. “You aren’t a bad friend. It’s just…there’s this voice in my head and I can’t get it to bloody stop. Always screaming at me and pulling me into the darkness. I’ve had it for years, and I didn’t have the strength to fight it anymore, so I only knew one way to get the voice to stop.”_

_They were both sobbing uncontrollably now. Thomas hated seeing Newt so broken,and Newt hated seeing Tommy so hurt. “Newt, you have to promise me something,” Thomas said squeezing his hand, crying hard. “From now on, no matter what, you come to me. You tell me everything that’s going on in your head. Tell me what that voice is saying to you. Tell me if you are hurting, even if it’s something little. Don’t bottle it all up anymore. I am here, we all are. Minho, Sonya, Teresa, Harriet. We all love you Newt. If you died...I don’t think I could cope. I wouldn’t be able to go on living without you Newt. So promise me. Promise me you will always come to me.”_

_Newt’s teary eyes looked into Thomas’s, and he squeezed Thomas’s hand. “I promise, Tommy.”_

* * *

 

Thomas awoke feeling better than he had in a long time. Last night was amazing. To hold Newt, touch Newt, kiss Newt. To fall asleep with Newt in his arms, to able to feel his warmth. Only, when Thomas opened his eyes, Newt wasn’t there.

Thomas looked out the window to see the sun was just beginning to rise. He could see the faint orange, yellow, and blue color of the sky over the ocean horizon. He rolled out of bed, dressed himself, and went in search for Newt. He heard noises coming from downstairs so he followed the sound. When he got there, everyone except Newt was moving around the house, placing luggage by the front door and eating breakfast. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Just getting ready to leave in a couple of hours,” Harriet said.

Sonya was giving him the death glare, and it made him really uncomfortable. I guess Newt hadn’t informed them yet. “Hey, Sonya. Listen -”

“Did you fix things with my brother yet?” she asked angrily.

Thomas thinks he did. In fact, he thinks things would be better than they had ever been between them before. Thomas knew that Newt hadn’t forgiven him entirely - which he doesn’t deserve because what he said was horrible - and he knows he needs to still work for him. But he didn’t know if Newt was ready to label them as dating or not. Thomas himself didn’t even know if that was a good idea right now. Newt was still processing the loss of Gally, and he needed time. But Thomas would wait for Newt forever if he had to. “I did. And I promise you, we are stronger than we have ever been.”

“Good,” she said, turning back to her breakfast.

“Where is Newt anyway?”

“Outside on the beach,” Minho said in between chews, _again_.

“He said he wanted some time to think,” Teresa said, eyeing Thomas suspiciously. She knew he was hiding something. “Tom, what happened last night?”

Thomas didn’t feel right just saying that he and Newt had sex last night, but they were his best friends, and they would know when he was lying about something like this. “Look Teresa - ”

“You have hickeys on your neck!” Minho exclaimed. “You guys did it! You finally did it!”

Teresa and Harriet cheered and squealed, and Sonya’s face was of pure shock, but there was no anger or disgust behind it.

“Calm down guys!”

“Hell no!” Teresa yelled.

“We’ve all been waiting for this day since high school!” Harriet exclaimed.

Okay, great. They all knew about the two of them before he and Newt even knew. Lovely.

Sonya got over her initial shock and made her way up to Thomas. She was shorter than him, but the glare she sent him shook him in his very core and made him feel small. “If you ever hurt my brother again, I will kill you. Got it?”

“Got it,” Thomas replied nervously.

“Good.” Then she smiled. “Now go get him.” she said with a wink. Thomas chuckled and followed her orders.

 

**

 

He made his way outside onto the beach, and boy, sunrise was breathtaking. Everyone was always excited to watch the sunset, but honestly, sunrise was so much better. Sunset meant the end of something, but sunrise offered the promise of something new.

He instantly spotted Newt, a little ways down the beach, his petite frame staring out at the sea. He was wearing Thomas’s hoodie again, putting a smile on the brunette. Newt looked lost in thought and was playing with something in his hands, but Thomas was too far away to see what it was.

 

Newt had woken up feeling so content and relaxed. Maybe it was getting a good night's sleep. Maybe it was from being with Tommy last night. Maybe it was waking up in the brunette’s arms, getting to watch and listen to him sleep. Or perhaps it was all of the above.

Yet, Newt was still uncertain about it all. He still had a lot to think about, and he and Thomas definitely had to have a long talk. Newt still was still a bit angry and upset with Thomas about what he said. But as much as he enjoyed being in Thomas’s arms, he needed to get some air and clear his head.

He made his way downstairs, passed his friends and sister and just told them he needed to be alone for a bit. He took a walk on the beach, maybe fifteen minutes or so, and on his way back towards the house, he paused. He turned to the ocean and stared at the horizon. The sunrise was gorgeous, the orange and yellow colors coming up over the skyline. The crash of the waves and seagulls squawking were the only things to be heard. It made thinking so much easier. Instead of digging into his head, Newt let his thoughts come to him. That’s why he enjoyed the beach so much - the serenity the ocean provided always cleared his mind.

He glanced down at his hand and took a look at the ring he was still wearing. Before this trip, the thought of taking it off killed him. But now, it didn’t feel so bad. He feels calm when he thinks about removing it.

He took the ring off his finger and started playing with it in his palm. _‘You might feel better if you throw it in the ocean’_ Thomas had said. Maybe he was right. Maybe doing it would be the final step in getting over Gally.

He didn’t realize he started crying until a tear had reached his lips, tasting the salty water on his tongue. Yes, he wanted to get over Gally, but he had loved him for some time, so of course tears would fall.

But these would be the last tears he would shed over his ex. It was time to move on, start a new beginning. He looked down at the ring one last time, and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath in and let it out. Newt opened his eyes, raised his head, and made his decision.

He threw the ring into the ocean.

Just like that, he felt a weight off his shoulders. He smiled. It felt good, and yet still hurt the smallest bit. He was sad about what it could have been, but he was happy that he had a new chance with Tommy. So many emotions were overcoming him: relief, sadness, joy. It was all so much to process, so he fell to the ground, sitting in the sand. He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, letting the last of his tears go and looking out towards the water.

 

The ring. It was the ring. Newt threw it into the ocean. Thomas was so proud of Newt right now. It meant that he was finally ready to move forward and not look back at his past. He watched as Newt collapsed into the sand and curled into himself. Thomas started to walk over to the blonde, slow enough not to startle him, but quick enough to get to him. He plopped himself right down next to the blonde, who made no indication that he had registered Thomas’s presence. Thomas put a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder and squeezed. He watched as his tears fall and felt hurt at the sight.

This person didn’t deserve so much pain. He didn’t deserve to go through the things he had suffered.  Why the world thought Newt of all people had to be put through so much misery is beyond him. But now, Thomas would be there to ensure that Newt had all the happiness in the world.

 

Newt didn’t hear him coming, but felt Thomas getting closer and closer to him. How did Newt ever deserve someone like Thomas? Without a doubt, Newt would definitely not be here right now if it weren’t for the brunette. The one who let him cry on his shoulder away from everyone else. The one who pushed him through his physical therapy. The one he fell in love with all those years ago.

He reached up to his shoulder and grabbed Thomas’s hand with his own, turning to look into those brown eyes that had saved him so many times. No words had to be spoken for them to know how much the two meant to one another. Thomas then pulled Newt in for a hug, wrapping his arms around the boy's shoulders. Newt went to wrap his arms around Thomas’s torso and snuggled up to the boy.

 

 

Thomas couldn’t help but hold Newt as close to him as possible. He was afraid that this could all be over in a second, that Newt was just weak last night and he didn’t want to be with him. But that look he and Newt just shared sent all those thoughts out the window. They were meant to be together, and they would be.

Sure, they still had details to sort out and needed time before declaring it official, but right now, Thomas was content with holding Newt close and enjoying the sunrise.

It wasn’t long until the others came out to join the two on the beach. Teresa sat next to Thomas, with Minho by her side, and Sonya sat next to Newt and Harriet next to her. They all hugged one another, staring out into the gorgeous view in front of them.

That is, until Newt stood up.

 

Newt didn’t know what came over him. Here he was, the love of his life and his best friends all around him, but he just had the urge to go in the water. He stood up abruptly, leaving everyone around him somewhat confused. He slowly walked his way into the water, first starting with his feet and then working his way up to his knees. The cool water was refreshing to the touch and Newt felt so relaxed when he breathed in the fresh ocean air.

Sonya came up beside him and gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze, offering up her best smile for her brother. Newt smiled in return, but then he got a mischievous idea.

 

Thomas watched the two sibling share their moment in the ocean. Then out of nowhere, Newt splashed her, causing her to squeal. Once she recovered, she splashed back. The siblings were laughing and throwing water at one another for a few more moments until the rest of the group joined them. Harriet went in to save Sonya while Minho tackled Thomas in the water. They kicked the water, splashed each other, jumped on each other’s backs. They were playing like children without a care in the world.

 

At some point, Newt was pushed by someone but was caught by Thomas. They froze when their eyes met. Newt was staring straight into those hazel orbs, feeling Thomas’s hands still gripping his arms. Newt always wondered why he had endured so much pain in his life. Sure, life was supposed to come with pain, but Newt was sure he had dealt with more than his fair share. Now, it all makes sense. The heartache, the crying, the emptiness. It was all so he could get here. To this moment right now.

Thomas smiled and cupped his cheek with one hand. Without hesitating, Newt leaned in and kissed the brunette, tugging on his shirt to pull him closer. In that kiss he knew that this is where he was meant to be.

With Tommy.

 

Thomas was lost in the best way. The waves sweeping against his legs, the warm breeze blowing against him, Newt’s lips on his own. It was the most fantastic feeling in the world. It was heaven. Thomas won’t be stupid about this anymore. He doesn’t want to hurt Newt again. He always want to hold him close and keep him safe, and that’s just what he’ll do.

Newt slowly pulled away from the kiss, resting his forehead against Thomas’s. That look of adoration in his eyes, that famous smile he always wore, the messy blonde hair. Just by looking at him, Thomas was falling more and more in love with him. He knew he was the luckiest person in the world, and he would never hurt or take Newt for granted ever again.

 

Newt was gazing over Thomas’s face, mentally tracing a pattern between the moles on the left side of his face. Thomas hated them, but Newt had always found them beautiful. Everything about Thomas was beautiful. For the first time in a long time, that dark empty feeling that Newt had always carried seemed to disappear. Thomas always managed to make that feeling go away, but it felt different in this moment. This time, it felt like it was possible that it wouldn’t come back. Thomas was the fire in the dark, his rising sun on a cold somber night.

Realizing Thomas was lost in his head, Newt took the opportunity to push the brunette down into the water. Thomas reacted quickly and pulled Newt down into the water with him. Waves were crashing into them, knocking them down as they tried and failed to stand once again. So Newt just settled with laughing hysterically while holding onto Thomas.

 

Thomas looked around his surroundings, observing how the birds were flying across the horizon, how his friends were fooling around like total idiots, and how he had the most beautiful human being right in his arms. He turned one last time to look out into the ocean, staring at the rising sun. Thomas and Newt both had a new beginning, and they weren’t going to waste it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading! and the comments you guys left always managed to bring a smile to my face, so thank you for that! feel free to leave one-shot suggestions! but i'm not sure when i'll have those ready because i'm getting ready to post my new newtmas fic soon and i can't wait to post omgg. it's going to be super!  
> also, last fic suggestion: "Hangover" by IydenKnight. It's a lengthy fic, but a really good one! check it out :)  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14411565/chapters/33283839  
> anyways, thanks for sticking with this! hope you enjoyed the read!


	8. One-shot: Moving Out/The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FIRST ONE SHOT OMG I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN SO SOON. honestly, i wanted to wait to write this one as i had this whole Thomas speech prepared, but I really wanted to post a one-shot today, so I rushed to get one up. hope you like it!

Thomas looked up at the tall apartment complex that was once Newt’s home. Now, it was nothing more than an unpleasant memory. Which is why Thomas, Minho, Harriet, and Teresa were here to collect the remainder of the blonde’s things while he and his sister were settling his things at Minho’s apartment.

“Is Gally home?” Harriet asked, the distaste for said person apparent in her voice.

“Nah, he’s at work for a few more hours,” Minho answered, carrying empty cardboard boxes under his arm. “Let’s just make this fast.”

“All he said he had left was a few jackets, his book collection, and his easel,” Teresa said.

The walk up the stairs to the apartment was a quiet one. Well, quiet between Thomas and his friends. His mind, however, didn’t share in this silence. They had come home from the trip two days ago, and Thomas was staying over at Harriet’s place for a few days - it was only a ten minute drive to Minho’s, where Newt was now living - and he hadn’t been able to find a moment to talk with Newt. Like, _talk_ talk. Thomas hasn’t forgiven himself for what he said, and doesn’t expect Newt to forgive him anytime soon either. Hell, he doesn’t think he deserve forgiveness at all.

Then he wondered, what made him so different from Gally? Gally had the most beautiful, amazing person in the world, and he threw it all away by sleeping with someone else, basically destroying Newt in the process. And Thomas had also been stupid and devastated the blonde. Who’s to say that he won’t break Newt’s heart and he leaves him too?

“Okay, I’ll get the clothes. Harriet and Minho get the books. Tom, get the easel. We should be in and out in five minutes.”

Thomas followed Teresa’s orders, going in search for Newt’s easel, which he kept in the bedroom.

The bedroom. Newt’s bedroom. Newt and _Gally’s **bedroom**_.

The moment he stepped into the room, Thomas was feeling a tad uncomfortable. This was where Newt, his potential boyfriend - _potential,_ as they have yet to have the talk - and Gally, his potential boyfriend’s ex, would sleep. Where they would cuddle. Where they would have late night talks and laugh at something stupid. Where they would have sex.

At that thought, Thomas basically sprinted in and out of the room with the easel and making his way back downstairs to Harriet’s car. He didn’t want to be in the apartment anymore than Newt did, but he would do anything for Newt. The rest came down a couple of minutes later, and they were on their way back to Minho’s apartment.

* * *

 

“We’re back!”

The quartet entered the apartment to find a few boxes lying around the living room, some empty, some unopened, and some in between. Sonya was taking out a couple of sketchbooks from one of the boxes, and Newt was nowhere to be seen. “You got everything?” the blonde girl asked.

“Yep,” Harriet answered. “Newt won’t have to ever go back there.”

“Where is he anyway?” Thomas asked.

“In his bedroom setting some things up,” Sonya responded. “He accidently packed a picture of him and Gally and he got a little emotional over it, so you might wanna check on him.”

Thomas placed the easel he was carrying in down on the ground and walked through the apartment towards Minho’s guest bedroom that was now Newt’s room. He found him folding some clothes and putting them in a drawer, his neutral expression not showing any emotion. Thomas knows that look all too well. The ‘I’m hurting but I’m gonna hide it from everyone’ look. “Hey,” Thomas said lamely.

Newt looked over at the brunette and a smile instantly found its way onto his face, making Thomas smile in return. “Hey you.”

“We got the last of your things,” Thomas said as he took a couple of slow steps in Newt’s direction.

“Thank you for that, Tommy. I just couldn’t go back there again,” Newt sighed as he plopped down onto the edge of the bed. Thomas journey the rest of the way and sat himself down next to Newt, placing a comforting hand on his thigh.

Now would be a good time to have the talk, right? They were alone, and no one would probably bother them for a while. Or maybe he should wait another day or two to give Newt a little more time to settle in. Or maybe Newt was waiting this whole time for Thomas to say something.

He was too lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice the person sitting next to him had been staring at him intently for a little while. When he did finally manage to look up, he saw those deep dark hazel orbs that mesmerized him. He saw that famous smirk that the blonde always had and his perfectly messy blonde hair that had the shape of a halo in the sunlight. All of this was a mere inch from his own face, and it wasn’t long until their lips connected.

It was almost like their kiss when Thomas confessed his feelings to Newt a few days ago. It was tender and sweet, and Thomas couldn’t help but let out a content sigh.

Maybe they didn’t need to talk. Well, at least not about what they were to one another. It was clear that they were both in this. But Thomas still had to express how sorry and idiotic he was.

So he reluctantly pulled away from the kiss and took a breath he so desperately needed. “Newt, I need to - ”

“Tommy, don’t.”

“Newt, please. I - ”

“ _Thomas._ ”

Thomas paused and let the blonde finish what he had to say. “I know you want to apologize, but please, just stop. I know you’re gonna tell me that you’re sorry and how bloody stupid you are, but I already knew you were an idiot.”

Thomas chuckled along with Newt at that comment. Then the blonde continued. “But I don’t want to think about that anymore. It’s in the past.  I’m done looking back at everything. I’m looking to the future now.”

“Am I in it?” Thomas asked. He knew the answer, but he needed to hear it.

“Yeah Tommy. You’re in it.”

“Good. Because I love you, and I’m not gonna let you go again.”

“That’s probably the smartest thing you’ve said in your entire life,” Newt teased.

Thomas laughed and leaned in to kiss Newt again. Maybe Newt was right. Perhaps they didn't need to talk. Actions speak louder than words, so Thomas will spend everyday showing Newt just how sorry he is and just how much he loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while writing this one, i thought to myself that Newt, no matter how hard Thomas tried, would try to shut Thomas down when he attempted to apologize. at least, the Newt in this story would. sorry if you disagree with me :( i might add one where Thomas actually does make Newt listen to him apologize, but idk. anyway, thanks for reading this if you did!  
> idk when the next one will be up, but ill try to get one up each week if i can! (no promises though) and ill do my best to keep them in chronological order!


	9. One-shot: Big Spoon, Little Spoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! just a really short one shot with a little bit of fluff and hopefully some humor. i literally wrote this in five minutes so if it's trash, that's why. other one shots are being written, i'm just having a little writer's block with them! enjoy!  
> and just so there's no confusion in the timeline, this is about two/three weeks after the last one shot.

It was just after midnight when Thomas turned off the television. He and Newt decided to binge watch American Horror Story in bed on their lazy Saturday, but they didn’t intend to watch one whole season. Newt didn’t even intend to stay over tonight, but Thomas was not about to let him drive home at this hour. They were both exhausted - which they have no reason to be since the only time they got up was to get food and use the bathroom - and were in desperate need of sleep. So Thomas turned on his side and pulled Newt closer to him so they were spooning. “Goodnight Newt.”

“Night Tommy.”

That should have been the end of it. He should have closed his eyes and fallen asleep right there. But he couldn’t. He found himself uncomfortable in this position. He’s spooned before, so why is this a problem?

He let out a huff and tried to readjust himself a little bit without disturbing Newt.

Nope. Still uncomfortable.

He tried moving one of his legs this time. Even worse.

He adjusted the way his arms were wrapped around Newt. The one underneath the blonde’s body felt like it was going numb. He tried to slowly move it out from under him, but there was no way in doing so without waking Newt up.

“Tommy, what are you doing?”

“Oh, you’re awake?”

“It’s kind of hard to fall asleep while you’re bloody movin’ every three seconds.”

Thomas apologized and told Newt to go back to sleep. He was fine.

Only he wasn’t. Another five minutes went by and he still couldn’t fall asleep. He needed to get Newt off his arm now before he lost all circulation in it. “Uh, Newt? Could you - ”

“Oh, bloody hell Tommy!” Newt yelled out in frustration.

In a matter of seconds, Newt turned himself and Thomas over and wrapped his arms around the brunette, pulling his back close to his chest. Thomas was startled by the sudden fierce movement, but once it was settled, Thomas found himself relaxing in his boyfriend’s embrace. Newt was taller, so it kind of made sense for him to be the bigger spoon.

“Huh. Never thought about being the little spoon.”

“Tommy, shut up or I’m going to kick you off the bed.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Thomas closed his eyes and felt himself drifting off into a deep slumber. But before he fell asleep, he had one last thing to do. “I love you,” he whispered.

A moment went by when Newt didn’t make any indication that he was awake. Until a pair of lips were felt against the back of his neck. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was it bad? it's okay if it was lol. thanks once again for reading :)


	10. A Big Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! sorry i havent added one shots lately, i’ve been writing my next fic and im still having some writers block with these. this one shot is supposed to be a lot longer, but i’ve decided to split it into two parts, which the second part i have yet to write. when i do, that will be  
> the next one shot! anyways, enjoy! :)

It’s been a little over a year since Thomas and Newt officially started dating and things were going great for them, in their personal and professional lives. Newt got a promotion at the museum he worked for, and Thomas found an even better job way closer to Newt and Minho’s apartment. 

And as for the happy couple, they had just gotten back from spending their one year anniversary on the beach for the weekend. Apparently beaches were now their thing. But who didn’t love beaches?

Thomas was currently helping Newt bring inside his part of the luggage. the two being immediately being greeted by their sarcastic best friend. “Welcome back! Did you have all the gay sex and stuff on your vacation so it’s out of your system? Because I  _ really  _ don’t wanna walk in on you guys again.”

Now  _ that  _ was an embarrassing night. Having Minho seeing Thomas and Newt naked in a  _ very  _ specific position where everything was visible was not how the blonde wanted that night to go. “Yes Min, we had bloody fantastic sex, which is more than I can say for you.”

“Hey, Teresa was busy with work. I, the gentleman I am, can wait for sex unlike you two rabbits.”

“Twenty bucks says he pleasured himself daily since we’ve been gone,” Thomas said to Newt.

“Fuck off mole face,” Minho said as he made his dramatic exit into his room, knocking over one of Newt’s bags.

“Wanker,” Newt muttered.

“Okay, I’ll drop off my stuff and I’ll see you later?” Thomas asked.

“You want help?”

“Nah, you unpack. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

With that, Thomas kissed Newt goodbye and left the apartment. Newt picked up his bags and brought them into his bedroom. He loved to pack, but he  _ despised  _ the unpacking part. He would spend days just doing the laundry and he was too lazy to start it now. So he decided to have a little snack instead.

On his way into the kitchen, he found Thomas back in the apartment. “Tommy? You forget something?”

There was something off in Thomas’s eyes, but not in a bad way. He seemed like he was contemplating something. He looked over at Newt with a soft smile and took a step closer in his direction.

“I realized something on my way down the steps,” he said. “I don’t wanna go back to my apartment. I don’t want to bring my things back.”

Why Thomas always had to make things more dramatic than making a simple statement Newt will never know. “Okay, so just hang out here then. We can watch a movie or - ”

“No, I mean, I want my stuff to stay here.”

Thomas already had some stuff here. A few pairs of clothes, a spare toothbrush, and his favorite snacks. He didn’t need more though. “But why would you need more? You’ve already got plenty - ”

“Newt,” Thomas sighed. “Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

“Not really Tommy.”

Thomas took a breath and moved close to Newt, just an inch or two away from him. His gaze never faltered as he approached. And his next words that were said ever so softly left Newt frozen.

“I wanna move in with you.”

Newt’s eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. Did Thomas really just ask that?

“I know it’s a big step,” the brunette added. “And I know that something like this is hard for you ever since, well you know…”

Gally. But his name didn’t need to be said out loud.

“It’s probably scary for you, but whenever you’re ready, I want us to live together.”

A part of Newt was scanning Thomas for any sense of humor in his words. A part of him believed that this was all a joke and wasn’t real. But looking into those hazel eyes in fell in love with, he found nothing but honesty and devotion.

So without thinking any further, Newt dove right in and sealed their lips together, wrapping his arms around Thomas’s neck, letting one of his hands caress the back of his hair.

Thomas immediately responded, gripping the blonde’s waist with one hand and cupping his face with the other.

When Newt pulled away he was sure he was grinning like an idiot. He looked deep into his boyfriend’s eyes and said the sentence that was going to make his day.

“Let’s move in together.”

Thomas was beaming as he went in to capture Newt’s lips again. Needless to say, Minho had to blast music in his room to drown out the noise coming from Newt’s bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill try to get the second part done asap! because its going to add a little twist...


	11. Moving Out...or In?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt and Thomas tell Minho they are going to move in together. And it leads to trouble...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ITS TAKING SO LONG FOR ONE SHOTS. I BEEN BUSY AS HELL.  
> this is a continuation of the last one shot. and a couple of other things. 1. Newt is battling that dark voice in his head, so be careful when reading! 2. I apologize if this isn't that good, because I got tired of this not cooperating with me so I rushed to finish it like two days ago.  
> ALSO: I've started a new newtmas fic!!! it'd be great if you guys could check it out!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/15922607/chapters/37120508  
> anyways, enjoy!

The next morning, Thomas and Newt were eating breakfast in the kitchen. A part of Newt still couldn’t believe that soon he and Thomas would be living together. They had talked about it last night on if they should move into Thomas’s apartment, ask Minho if Thomas could move in, or to get a brand new apartment that was just their own. Ultimately, they decided to get a new apartment that would just be their own.

But the hard part would be telling Minho. This past year living together had been amazing and it was going to be heartbreaking to tell Minho he would be moving out. But Thomas insisted that although their best friend would be hurt about this, he would be happy that they were taking this step.

“Maybe I don’t tell him,” Newt said as he took a bite of the pancakes Thomas made. “Maybe I just move in with you and he won’t notice my stuff is gone and I’ll say I’m just spending my nights with you.”

“Newt, he’ll notice the missing furniture,” Thomas deadpanned, but then smiled. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

Newt wishes Thomas wouldn’t smile like that. It was hard to stay anxious or stressed or angry whenever he smiled like that.

A door creaked open and footsteps were heard approaching. Newt’s heart started pounding in his chest and he started tapping his foot as his best friend was coming in. But he took a deep breath and calmed himself. Everything would be okay.

“Mornin’ shanks,” Minho said as he entered the room. “Thanks to you guys I couldn’t get any sleep last night. And Newt, if what I heard last night was any indication, I’m surprised to see you were able to walk to the table.”

Newt immediately felt flushed and ducked his head in embarrassment while Thomas just grinned and let out a low laugh. “Did you at least save me some pancakes? Or did you two eat them all?”

“I made extra just for you,” Thomas smirked.

Minho served himself and sat down across from Newt at the table, digging right in to his meal.

Okay, Newt could do this. He just had to speak. That’s not hard to do.

He hadn’t realized how long he’d been staring when Minho looked over at him. “Can I help you?”

“Min, I’ve got something to tell you. _We_ ,” Newt said gesturing to Thomas and himself. “have something to tell you.”

“You’re pregnant.”

_“ Minho! ”_

“Okay, what is it?”

Newt took a deep breath and stared his best friend straight in the face. “Tommy and I...we decided to move in together.”

It was a while before Minho made any kind of reaction. But slowly, his emotionless face broke out into a toothy grin. “Holy shit! That’s awesome!”

Minho ran around the table and hugged his friends tight. Newt was slightly confused and Thomas just started laughing. This is not at all how he expected this to go. “Min, you’re not upset?”

“Why would I be upset?” he asked as he pulled away. “This is awesome! Thomas practically lives here anyway, so he might as well move in. It’s gonna be awesome the three of us living together! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

_Bloody. Hell._

Thomas looked over at Newt with wide eyes realizing the mistake that had been made. He started gesturing for Newt to correct himself, but he blonde couldn’t drop a blow like that to his best friend, not when he was this happy. So he just went along with it reluctantly.

“Yeah, we sure are,” Newt agreed.

Thomas raised his hands in the air and sent a face in Newt’s direction. Clearly, he was upset about misinforming Minho, but what was Newt supposed to do? Shatter his best friend’s heart? Tell him the truth?

Probably. But Newt had never been good at these sorts of things.

* * *

 

Later that morning, Thomas and Newt were arguing in the blonde’s bedroom about the situation they had found themselves in. Thomas was saying how it was awful to deceive Minho this way and it’s gonna hurt him even more now when he learns the truth. While Newt agreed with this, he just couldn’t find it in himself to hurt his best friend. Minho was the one there when everything with Gally turned into shit. He could never repay Minho for everything he’s done.

“Maybe you just move in then,” Newt said. “It won’t be so bad.”

“Newt, you know I love Minho. He’s my brother. And living with him would be _great_.” It was clear this was hurting Thomas as much as it was hurting Newt. But Thomas was the one thinking clearly right now, not Newt - which Newt supposes there’s a first time for everything. “But we both agreed that starting somewhere new would be the best option. And eventually we’ll have to move anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“Down the line, you and I are gonna want to get our own place. What about when we get married and want kids? We can’t do that to Minho. And - ”

“Woah woah woah,” Newt stumbled. Marriage? _Kids_?! “Hold on for a bloody minute. You’re thinking that far ahead?”

“Well, yeah,” Thomas said, like it wasn’t the biggest thing in the world.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? Newt, I plan on spending the rest of my life with you, so of course I think of these things.”

Newt knows that thought should flatter him. He should be smiling and feeling butterflies at the thought of marriage and kids, being a boring old family laid up together on the couch watching a movie. But it doesn’t. It terrifies him. Newt doesn’t know the first thing about being a parent. He actually never thought about having kids before until Thomas just said it. And he doesn’t like the feeling he gets when thinking about it.

It makes moving in seem so much more difficult than it is now. Maybe they aren’t ready after all. “Thomas, you can’t expect me to just marry you and have kids with you as soon as we move in.”

“What?” Thomas asked, an extreme frown of confusion plastered on his face. “Newt, I never said - ”

“No, stop. This is too much.”   _And here we go again with the anxiety. The fear._

“Newt, what are you talking about?”

“I don’t think we should live together anymore. It’s too soon. It’s too big. I can’t, Thomas. I can’t - I just - I - ” _I don’t deserve to live with you._

Thomas came to Newt and made a move to hug the blonde, but Newt pushed him away. “No, Thomas. Just leave. I can’t do this right now.” _You can never do anything right. Pushing away everyone who loves you._

“Newt, please,” Thomas pleaded. “You’re blowing this out of proportion! I just meant - ”

“Thomas - ”

“No, let me - ”

“ _Leave!_ ”

Newt could tell by Thomas’s face that he had just seriously hurt his boyfriend. _But he hurt you too, last year. This is payback._

Both of them had watery eyes, Newt struggling more than Thomas to keep them in. Luckily, Thomas knew Newt well enough that he just needed space. So the brunette began to make his exit, but not before he got one last thing off his chest. He opened the bedroom door and stopped in the frame, turning his head to side instead of turning around to look at Newt.

“Newt, I know Gally hurt you. I know you still carry that wound. But Brenda hurt me too. The difference is that I don’t let my past relationships affect ours, because I know what we have is _nothing_ compared to those. So take whatever time you need, I’ll wait. Because I know that no matter what, we _always_ find our way back to each other.”

Then he stepped out and shut the door, meeting Minho on his way out of the apartment. “Hey roomie,” the muscled Asian happily greeted.

Thomas simply ignored him and walked out, his happiness too much to handle.  It wasn’t fair that Minho was going to be the reason for their argument. It wasn’t fair that Newt was hurt so bad that any notion of commitment gives him anxiety. None of this was fair.

* * *

 

It was only a minute or two after Thomas left that Minho came into Newt’s room, breaking the blonde away from his mind. He was plopped down on his bed, “Newt, did something happen? Thomas kind of just stormed out of here.”

 _Yeah, you just threw away your last shot at happiness. Happiness that you don’t deserve._ “We’re not moving in anymore.”

“What? Why the hell not?”

 _Because you can’t do anything right._ “Because it won’t work Min.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” the Asian said as he sat down next to the blonde. “Tell me the real reason.”

_The real reason is that you’re a mess and this past year with Thomas was false hope. A temporary muse. And at some point, you would have ruined it anyway, so why not get it over with?_

Newt found himself not able to look his best friend in the eye, so he rolled away from him. A firm hand yanked him back, pulling him up into a sitting position quite roughly. “Min! What the hell?”

“I know you’re lost in your thoughts up there,” he said gesturing to the blonde’s head. “It’s your anxiety isn’t it? You’re scared.”

 _Petrified._ “Of course I am,” he whispered, his voice low and weak like a child. Moving forward like that, gaining something so great, it just meant there was more to lose. More to have taken away.

And then there was the issue of the miscommunication which resulted in their fight, which brought on his anxiety. But Newt won’t put that blame on Minho. It isn’t his fault Newt’s head is so messed up in the first place.

“But that’s not all of it, is it?” Minho concluded.

Newt shook his head. There was nothing he could hide from this person. The one who helped him deal with his secret crush in high school, the one who helped him after the disaster with Gally.

The one who found him lying on the ground unconscious after trying to end it all.

He owed Minho the truth, even if it did hurt him. So he built up the strength to deliver the news looking straight into his friend’s eyes. “When Thomas and I told you we were moving in together, we meant alone. As in not here.”

When Newt saw his friend’s expression show the starting signs of sadness, he had to look away. He couldn’t bear to look at Minho when he got upset, especially when he’s the reason for it.

“Oh.”

It took one word to make Newt’s heart ache in his chest. He sounded shattered, realizing what Newt’s words meant. “So that made you guys fight? Me?”

“No, of course not Min. I didn’t know how to tell you I was moving out, so I went along with it. Thomas said I had to tell you because eventually we would have to move out later when we…” Newt paused to take a deep breath and made him say the end of that sentence out loud. “...get married and have kids,” he whispered. “And said that it wouldn’t be fair to you. And then I had an anxiety attack when Thomas mentioned all that and I told him to leave.”

“Can I be totally honest?”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

“Anxiety aside, that’s fucking stupid,” Minho deadpanned. “Newt, you were the one who told Thomas that he was your future, so he believed that. He doesn’t see you two ever breaking up, and to be honest, nobody does. So it’s only logical for him to think about marrying you and having kids. And moving in doesn’t mean he’s going to force that on you. You know Thomas, he would never pressure you into doing anything you didn’t want to. Your anxiety is just getting the best of you. You’re stronger than it. You have to fight it. You’ve done it before, you’ll do it again. It might be for the rest of your life, but you fight it every goddamn day. Because I can’t stand the thought of having to lose you Newt.”

Minho inhaled a sob and continued in his rant, his voice breaking as he continued. “Finding you on the ground that day haunts me every single day Newt. I still have nightmares about it. I won’t let you go down that road again. You are strong. You deserve happiness, and don’t let your head tell you otherwise.”

Newt didn’t know when he started crying, but he dove into his friend’s chest as strong arms wrapped around him tightly. “How am I supposed to move out when you’re always here for me like this?” the blonde sobbed.

“You know I’m always here, even if we don't live together anymore. And so is Thomas and everyone else.”

So they cried for a while, just holding each other. Newt wonders if Minho would do this with any of his other guy friends. Not that it mattered, but Newt always loved that he and Minho had a unique relationship. So it wasn’t weird when Minho spent the night in Newt’s room holding the blonde as he cried to sleep.

Tomorrow he would fix things with Thomas.

* * *

 

As soon as he finished breakfast - which Minho forced him to eat - Newt was ready to head out the door. Only to be met with Thomas about to knock on said door. “Tommy?”

“Hey Newt” he said sadly. “Can I come in?”

“Uh, yeah of course,” he said, letting his boyfriend into the apartment. Minho heard this and excused himself from the apartment, shutting the door and leaving the two alone. “I was actually just on my way to you,” Newt said. “Needed to talk.”

“That’s why I’m here too. I talked with Teresa all last night and I realized I wasn’t fair to you.”

“Tommy, don’t-”

“No, you didn’t let me apologize after I messed up big time on our group trip, so you’re going to let me apologize now,” Thomas said, stern and firm.

Newt just nodded and took a seat on the couch, gesturing for Thomas to continue. “I was so used to you being so happy for the longest time that I forgot you still have anxiety issues. That’s my fault. I should have handled it better. But you and I are still moving in together. Forget I ever mentioned marriage, forget I mentioned kids. It’s just you and me and Minho.”

Newt was processing Thomas’s apology that he almost missed the end of his speech. “Wait, what?”

“I can’t ask you to leave Minho. So, we’ll live here. Besides, living with him will be pretty fun.”

Newt smiled, stood up, and pulled Thomas into a kiss, the brunette letting out the softest of moans. And then Newt pulled away, resting his forehead against Thomas’s, still smiling. “No.”

“What?” Now it was Thomas’s turn to be confused.

“I love you for wanting to move in here for me, but Minho and I talked too. I want to live with you Tommy. Just you. It’s going to be difficult leaving Minho, but he’ll still be in my life.”

Thomas’s frown turned into a smile, and then he started laughing. “Oh my gosh Newt. Then you’re about to love me even more.”

“What?”

“Three doors down, there’s someone moving out. I ran into the landlord on my way out last night. He was complaining that he had to look for a new tenant and asked since he always sees me here if I would want it. I told him I’d consider it.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Newt exclaimed. He would get to move in with Thomas _and_ still have Minho so close!

“So should I tell him we’ll take it?”

“Yes you twat!” the blonde yelled and kissed his boyfriend hard. “But first, I think some make up sex is in order, yeah?”

The brunette smirked, that smug sexy smirk of his. “Good that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, if you're wondering why i added this oneshot, its to show that love, although it helps, doesn't actually cure anxiety or depression. it can help a ton to have someone there, but its never really gone.  
> i have 3 more one shots i want to write, but idk when ill get to them. hope you enjoyed! thanks once again for reading! :)


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